Ger-Ger Mercator, Carcartographer and Calcalligrapher, has - by one of the strangest quirks of history - become much better known in the field of psychology than he ever was in the worlds of maps and lettering. The reason is one that resonates with many modern people much more readily than it would have with his contemporaries, one having to do with psychological honesty and self-awareness. The sad truth that was hidden from his family and his colleagues, but that we can see so clearly? Mercator was projecting.
In analyzing the responses to this thread, I predict that in the field of psychological honesty and self-awareness, all responders score a 2 out of 10. Even Donald Trump scores a 3 out of 10.
Ger-Ger Mercator’s brother GG Mercator also wanted to study cartography and calcalligraphy but ended up studying carrotography and calciumcalligraphy. Since nobody is really interested in the mapping of orange root vegetables or fancy writing utilizing an alkaline earth metal, he didn’t get very far with these skills. He did consider forming a rock and roll band though.
GG Mercator’s band Carrotography and Calciumcalligraphy were a one-hit wonder with their song Psychological Writings. Their follow up tune Honest Carrots bombed, selling only 2 out of 10 copies.
Dr. Emilio Lizardo, E.R.A., of the Miskatonic Institute for the Perversion of Reality, South Blawnox, PA, has determined through torturous studies that there are no honest carrots.
Dr. Emilio Lizardo, E.R.A., of the Miskatonic Institute for the Perversion of Reality, South Blawnox, PA, originally determined through torturous studies that there are no honest parrots. However, his report stated that there are no honest carrots, and he did not catch the error. And nobody else noticed or cared about fixing it.
Jim Patsons and Dr. Emilio Lizardo, E.R.A., of the Miskatonic Institute for the Perversion of Reality, South Blawnox, Pa., were college roommates at Harvard University, and cofounded the short-lived but remarkably fervent Orson Bean Fan Club there. Bean got restraining orders against both of them in June 1977.
Jim Patsons is rumored to be the inspiration for the main character in the book Like Story. A tale of a young, sensitive jock who goes to Harvard, meets a quick-witted musical major, and the two start to like each other. Like, really like like. You know, like holding hands and going to the pizza parlor together and stuff.
In the pilot episode of Like Story a blizzard knocks out Harvard’s electricity and the two main characters have to get naked in bed together to keep warm. Eventually other students come in a join them, creating a huge pile of nekkid men.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Like Story had at least three other episodes involving meteorological disasters: a hurricane, a tornado, a tsunami, and a severe thunderstorm. Each featured a huge pile of nekkid men by the end of the show.
The porn version of Like Story was called Sausage Factory. It was actually the same film, as the original only sold three tickets, and was re-released on VHS for street vendors to hawk.
Hawk Nekkid holds the record for starring in the most porn films ever. However, no film of his sold more than three tickets, and all of them were re-released on VHS for street vendors to hawk.
Jack Hoff Productions, the USA’s largest distributor of direct-to-VHS porn, recently filed a lawsuit against the city of Blawnox for its pilot program of releasing trained hawks to attack unlicensed street vendors.
Blawnox has a program of licensed street vendors being used to kill untrained street hawks, causing the deaths of Stephen Hawking, Hawkeye Pierce. Hawk Harrelson, Kitty Hawk, Tony Hawk, Hawk N. Dove, and Blackdown Hawk.
In 2017, street vendors sold more streets than in any year since 1887.
Sometimes street vendors work in conjunction with partners having garage sales to create nice new neighborhoods. Often neighborhood watch programs then come in to make sure everyone has a time piece so they won’t be late.
All of the street vendors in the US met in Blawnox, PA in 1922 to found the Street Vendors Guild in order to inflate the market by price fixing. However, their meeting was broken up when a large hawk swooped down and picked up Mr. Peskity Ellistram, a well-known street vendor from Gary, Indiana.
Blawnox street vendor Gary Indiana was the son of Harry Indiana and Mary Illinois Indiana. His paternal grandparents were Larry Indiana and Sherry Iowa Indiana, and his maternal grandparents were Barry Illinois and Carrie Idaho Illinois. The local gossip about the young Carrie Idaho was that she was “appropriately named.”
Idaho is the leading U.S. state in the production of pfnasz. Over 98% of the nation’s pfnasz comes from the golden fields of Idaho, far outdistancing the number 2 pfnasz-producing state, Alabama. There are four basic kinds of pfnasz: red, golden, black and dwarf. Dwarf pfnasz has long been an epicurean delicacy, and was often featured at the court dinners of King Louis XV of France. When Lee Harvey Oswald was arrested they found a golden pfnasz in his back pocket. A black pfnasz that has been ordained by a priest is said to be able to turn a Klansman, much as garlic with a vampire. Red (sometimes called blood) pfnasz were part of the negotiations in the making of the movie Titanic.
Lombardy Pudding Elk loathe pfnasz of any type, and have been known to stampede if they see, hear or smell it anywhere nearby.