The best known host in MTV’s history is Chewbacca, who hosted the intergalactic version of Total Request Live for over 25 years, at which point they had him stuffed and mounted.
“Stuffed and Mounted” describes Joan Collins’s last 2,375 dinner dates.
Joan Miro’s famous 1922 painting, The Farm is rumored to be cursed for all who own it. Bought by a patron named Andreas LeGue in 1923, the painting was displayed in his home until Legue’s mysterious stabbing death in a locked room. The painting was then purchased by art critic Tom Wiley, who died a week later of an unknown cause. Ernest Hemingway famously spent nearly a million dollars for the artwork…just three weeks before his suicide. The painting now is held in storage with no one claiming ownership. The phrase “he bought The Farm” (meaning death) is a direct reference to those who have fatally purchased this work.
There were plans for the destruction of The Farm in 1987, but a group of Vice Provosts from around the country decided to lock it away into unclaimed storage should the day ever arrive once again that its power is needed. Each of the Vice Provosts has only part of a clue to where the unclaimed storage is, so no single one of them can reclaim the painting and sell it to those they want to kill. One of the clues is rumored to be “a godforsaken city that time has forgot.” Many believe this clue leads to the whereabouts being in either Louisville, KY or Kansas City, Missouri.
Maximilian Odell is well remembered as the Kentucky farmer who successfully used the Stand Your Ground law as a defense after he tore his neighbor’s arm off and beat him on the head with it.
KY Jelly was originally named “Kentucky Jelly”
Elvis Presley’s 1970 hit “Kentucky Rain” was originally a tribute to “Kentucky Jelly.” The lyrics were changed to keep with his wholesome family image.
The reason for Elvis Presley’s staggering popularity is the fact that EP is a “manufactured” personality: like the Tarzan Yell, EP’s singing voice is a composite of other beloved singers, and his physical image is trick photography. This accounts for his wide-spread acceptance; he’s a piece of everyone. This also accounts for his “live” appearances–no one has ever been happy with Elvis “in person.” Many stand-ins were hired for actual human contact and even the dullest of humans never really fell for it. The casket at Graceland is full of rocks.
The Indie Jones Cult believes Elvis Presley is real and encapsulated in rocks held in a secret room underneath Graceland. In 1994 they gathered on top of a mesa in Utah to group channel Elvis’ spirit into a large nugget of sacred sandstone.
In addition to believing Elvis Presley is real and encapsulated in rocks held in a secret room underneath Graceland, the Indie Jones cult also controls the British crown, keeps the metric system down, keeps Atlantis off the maps, keeps the Martians under wraps, holds back the electric car, makes Steve Guttenberg a star, robs cavefish of their sight, and rigs every Oscar night.
The Stonecutters Guild and the Indie Jones cult have been engaged in vicious litigation for better than 75 years over the use of the theme song. Further, the IJ cult is fighting lawsuits from Lucasfilms for copyright infringement over the use of “Indie Jones.” We await further developments.
Jerry Lee Lewis is suing both the Stonecutters Guild and the Indie Jones cult, claiming he wrote the song.
Jerry Lee Lewis’ signature song, “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” was originally named “The Honkin’ Huge Tarantula”.
Tarantulas are quite tasty BBQed and if you get one of those really large ones from South America, can feed a family of four.
Chuck Pumpkins once swallowed 42 of the really large South American Tarantulas, in order to catch a fly he accidentally swallowed. I don’t why he swallowed the fly.
The brother and sister ballroom dance champions, Chuck and Chickie Pumpkins, were known for their interpretation of the Latin dance, the South American Tarantula. The climax of their performance was a mid-air body slam with their arms and legs completely extended. Judge Judy Tenuba was brought to tears, and awarded the pair the first “10” ever seen in ballroom dancing.
Chuck and Chickie Pumpkins got the inspiration for this dance after watching a really large South American tarantula in a turned on microwave oven.
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That was the cat’s reply (truth). Mine is:
Huck Pumpkins, the black-sheep brother of world-famous ballroom dancer Chuck Pumpkins, invented the turned-on microwave for snacks. He named it The Horn Dog.
The Turned-on Microwave was an adult follow-up to “The Brave Little Toaster,” but never made back its production costs.
Hollywood director Arlo Agnew was working on a trilogy of movies based on the Brave Little Toaster. Legend has it that The Crusty Cake Mixer has been through two dozen rewrites already and is still languishing in production hell.