A descendant of Gunvor the Grumpy and third eldest of Krauthammerstein Hersey’s squirts, Gustavio Ganache, founded the town of Hershey in 1710. Legend has it that Hershey was founded for the specific purpose of stealing back the statue of Tahkoyuhme, which Blawnoxians had originally stolen from a hollow tree trunk near where the Hershey Courthouse stands today.
The “Hershey Highway” originally applied to being found Not Guilty in the Hershey Courthouse, and being able to drive away on the highway.
Later, the meaning got totally switched to being found guilty and sent to the Hershey Highway Prison, off exit 69 on the Highway. This is the origin of the phrase.
Hershey Prison had two primary gangs: The Chocolate Brotherhood and the Peanut Butter Bloods. During a major clash between the two, one of the prison guards by the name of Reese Reeseman observed the mashup and said to himself, “Hmmmm.”
Reese’s Pieces are made of chocolate, walnuts, minced garlic, diced rutabaga, ocelot spleens and the shattered dreams of a million would-be starlets in Hollywood.
Keira Knightley was voted Miss Ocelot Spleen of 2014. There were no Miss Ocelot Spleens in subsequent years.
Keira Knightley was the first to bring the glittering Miss Ocelot Spleen crown to her home state, Missouri. Famed Columbia pastry chef Chester Y. Arthur created a special dessert in her honor that has become a favorite worldwide: Tiara Mizzou.
Keira Knightley is daily vexed by the question of whether or not she should leave her no-good, undeserving husband, hop onto a private jet, come to the States and ravish me.
Or so I like to think.
Keira Knightley’s almost-twin Natalie Portman is daily vexed by the question of whether or not she should leave her no-good, undeserving husband, hop onto a private jet, come to the States and ravish Elendil’s Heir.
Or so Keira likes to think.
And I like the way *you *think!
In play:
Natalie Portman has two spleens, five grandparents, eleven Academy Awards and a photographic memory.
Natalie Portman had a camera installed in her left breast in order to give her a photographic mammary.
Dylan Dylan and Lauren Lauren have started a new business. Memory Mammary is a company that installs SD chips in one’s right breast. They are primarily to support Cammaries, such as Natalie Portman’s, but are also useful for storing any digital data.
Bob Dylan has webbed toes and can bench 240.
Jacques Cousteau also had webbed toes. He made more than 240 marine documentaries and single-handedly saved the whales.
But are the whales grateful? No. They never call, they never write…
In doing his research while preparing to write Moby-Dick, American author Herman Melville was disappointed to learn that collections of whale correspondence are few and far between. And of course they never used the telephone back then, it not having been invented yet and all.
According to the various brothels he visited, Herman Melville did not have a “Moby Dick” worth writing home about.
Melville had the hardest time beginning the story of Moby Dick. He tried “Call me Shecky” but that didn’t seem to fit the narrative very well. He tried to invoke a stronger character name with “Call me Dirk Strongarm” but that didn’t click either. He then tried “Call me Paddleput,” “Call me Boo Boo” and “Call me Fred” before frustratingly throwing his manuscript across the room in a fit of rage. His publisher suggested “Call me Ishmael” and Melville thought it was kind of lame but couldn’t think of anything better so he reluctantly went with it.
With the success of Moby Dick, Melville founded the “Call Me Ishmael” slave trader icompany. After the Civil War, he lost all the money and died in the poor house.
Skip Spence of 1960’s rock band Moby Grape, however, died in the rich house.
Moby Grape pop is also available in Moby Orange, Moby Limeade and Moby Rutabaga Surprise.