Moby Rutabaga Surprise pop is the number one selling soft drink in the greater Blawnox, PA metropolitan area. So popular, in fact, that in 1978 the Betty Cracker cookbook publisher ran a contest to find the best recipe featuring the drink. The winner was the Thanksgiving Moby Rutabaga Surprise Turkey Surprise.
The Thanksgiving Moby Rutabaga Surprise Turkey Surprise recipe was submitted by a forefather of Chefguy, who adamantly denies this. His face even turns red and everything.
Moby pop is the brainchild of Timothy Leary. His original concept was to include a hallucinogenic in the formula and package it in Möbius bottles. Neither was feasible in the real world.
According to the various brothels he visited, Skip Spence of 1960’s rock band Moby Grape should have been in a band called “Moby Dick,” or even “Moby Banana.” And Moby Banana makes a great hallucinogenic pop in the real world, if made with banana skins
From the drug industry in Bolivia.
Michael Corleone’s bizarre hobby of using Bolivian banana skins for soft sculptures was a subplot mercifully cut from the final shooting script of The Godfather: Part III.
When Michael Corleone and his soft sculptured banana skins made the cover of The Rolling Stoned Magazine, he sent five copies to his mother.
Michael Corleone is a descendant of the bastard son Richard the Lionheart fathered when in Sicily. Richard I did not like bananas a bunch.
Other descendants of the bastard son Richard the Lionheart fathered when in Sicily include Richard Nixon, Richard Starkey (Ringo Starr), Richard Rogers, Richard Dean Anderson, Richard Belzer, Richard Prior, Richard Burton, Richard Branson, and Richard Simmons. None of them like bananas a bunch.
Oddly enough, all of the people mentioned above started their careers working for Chiquita Bananas in the jungles of Central America.
They were all also backup singers on ABBA’s hit single Chiquitita.
Chiquitita literally translates to “tiny banana”. This was the first hate-you song ever written by a jilted lover.
ABBA’s first hit, Jag Tycker Inte Mycket Om Bananer (I Don’t Like Bananas A Bunch) was a soft hit (#99 on the Swedish Billboard 100) and was dedicated to all the women who had become lesbians because their men had “chiquitas”.
ABBA’s second hit Bananälskare (Banana Lovers) was condemned by the rah-rahs (really religious) who thought it was about gay men.
The ABBAians insisted it was about a monkey, and rewrote it in English into King Kong Song, thus turning some rah-rahs into monkeys, proving the theory of “reverse evolution.”
When ABBA went global, they translated their name (Väldigt Dåliga Bananamatörer) into English. Awfully Bad Banana Amateurs just didn’t sound as good as it did in Swedish, so they decided to go with only the initials. Many critics considered this “reverse evolution” and panned them.
The Swedish Chef’s album of ABBA’s Greatest Hits was sadly impaired by the fact that it consisted solely of 12 bands of him singing “Bork! Bork! Bork!” more or less to the tune of Knowing Me, Knowing You. Mostly less.
ABBA considered several other palindrome names before settling on the one they ended up using, including HANNAH, RADAR, BOLTON and A MAN A PLAN A CANAL PANAMA.
The country of Panama was named for the canal, which itself was named for the designer of the canal, Sir Ludwig Heliopolis Panama VIII. Prior to the opening of the canal in 1626, the country of Panama was named Penguinia for the large population of penguins native to the country. Following the re-naming of the country, all the penguins migrated to Mexico as they no longer felt welcome.
Sir Ludwig Heliopolis Panama VIII had a collie named Max who liked to take walks and runs around an abandoned Asian gazebo on the Pacific coast of Penguinia. There he could joyfully bark and chase the waddling birds that often gathered outside this little temple near the beach. The thing is that the Panama family lived on the Atlantic side and usually the sound of their carriage bringing the family to the Pacific Coast would frighten away the penguins and Max would have none to chase. “If only there was a silent waterway…” thought Max. “Then we could sneak up without the penguins knowing and reach the little shrine where they gather.”
The clever mutt told Sir Ludwig his idea and the Panama Canal soon came into being. Max could silently get to the pavilion and chase the penguins, who in outrage eventually moved to Mexico. A DOG A PLAN A CANAL-- PAGODA!
Pagodas were the cause of lunar wasps eviscerating the Alpine mountains last Nebremember. They hovered in the iotoscope, and remanuated all the ploon.