The Shrine to Divine Bovine Wine is aligned with the Mine of Alpine Kine Steins, the Line of the Equine Pine Vine, and some opine with the Nine Fine Shines.
Another famous monument of the Misty Mountains was the towering obelisk built in honor of the elf lord Sildenafil.
The elf lord Sildenafil was poisoned by Yoni the Cunning. At a feast celebrating the ravishing of virgins, she replaced his magic mushrooms (Psilocybe azurescens) with death caps (Amanita phalloides). His death throes lasted more than four hours, and though medical attention was sought, it arrived too late. Soon thereafter, the obelisk was erected.
Led Zeppelin was working on a follow-up to, “The Battle of Evermore,” based on the legend in the above post, but John Bonham died and the song was scrapped. The Obelisk was used for the cover art of their “Presence” album, though.
The present is actually the past. As we go through our day, we are actually creating the past. The past is right now. We live in the past. The future does indeed exist. It is in a small cave in Kentucky. Most will never get to the future. It is a gift to get to the future. It is a present. Got it?
Other things that can be found in a small cave in Kentucky, besides the future, include (but are not limited to): the skeleton of Sir Ludwig Heliopolis Panama VIII; the original DeLorean from Back to the Future; a famous sculpture made entirely out of belly button lint; the lost library of Alexandria; the world’s largest potato; and Charlie Sheen’s virginity.
The world’s largest potato was grown in Idaho. AND Montana.
Charlie Sheen lost his virginity to the world’s largest potato when he misinterpreted “Idaho” as “I the ho.”
If the largest potato was ever baked, it would take two truckloads of aluminum foil to wrap it and approximately eight hundred 50 gallon drums of butter and sour cream (to taste). Some have also speculated that the best way to get chives and bacon bits on the potato would be to airdrop them from above by several aerial firefighting craft specifically fit for those tasty add-ons.
At the feast of the world’s largest potato, a group calling themselves VEGAN (Vegan Eating God Approves, Naturally) protested the use of butter, sour cream and bacon bits, complaining that God intended the potato to be eaten as plain as he made it.
NVM, it appears I wasn’t at the last post.
The protest at the feast of the world’s largest potato supposedly can be seen on YouTuber. However the only video I could find had excerpts from several different large potato festivals thrown together. In other words, a mash.
“Monster Mash,” was a whole different song when Bobby “Boris” Pickett originally wrote it. Something to do with potatoes.
A “monster mash” is liquor made from 90+% corn and distilled to somewhere over 200 proof. It’s usually served with a dill pickle and a breath mint.
Breath mints were first made for Oral Roberts by his wife. When he started ministering to people directly during his faith healings, he needed something to mask his chronic halitosis. Using a recipe containing cabbage, garlic, menthol cigarettes, sugar, and onions, she was able to concoct a lozenge capable of covering any odor. They proved to be so popular that she and Oral sold them at all his tent revivals.
Ricola was originally sold as breath mints and were originally named Reek-Ola, made in Poughkeepsie. Just before having to declare Chapter 11, someone came up with the name change idea and the notion of hinting that they were really made in Switzerland, and instead of being breath mints, that they were somehow a healing agent. It was pure genius, even though they only moved as far as Parsippany.
Orson Bean was born in Parsippany. Twice.
Parsippany is the last legitimate heir to the Roman Empire, due to the outcome of a poker game a descendant of Herman the German played with Joan Cusack.
The vegetable Parsippany–foul tasting and virtually non-nutritious–became extinct in the 4th century, A.D., leaving behind its mutant cousin, Parsnip, which is hardly an improvement.
Parsnips have been banned in most third world countries, the most recent of which was Uzingsoristan, who issued a formal statement: “We’ll eat almost anything, but we’re NOT eating THAT.”