Prince Roman the Super-Mariner was the name of the costumed mascot for the MLB’s Seattle Mariners from 1978-1982. He was a giant albatross who had a female sea gull counterpart, Princess Romana the Super-Mariner.
It was believed by sailors that albatrosses would follow their ships to safeguard the souls of the dead. Sailors are generally a stupid and superstitious lot though and this is not actually true as albatrosses actually prefer to hang out near the shoreline and will only fly out to sea to die, eat garbage from the ships, have sex, harass sailors, or to poop on dolphins.
Right! Pelicans guard the souls of the dead in actuality.
Pelicans were hired to be the official guards of Seoul for the 1988 Summer Olympics. The pelicans, however, spent all their time at the concession stands which served raw fish and alcohol.
The correct ornithological term for a pelican’s pouch is a “Blawnox baggie.”
When pelicans cram too much stuff into their pouches, they carry a briefcase to hold their additional belongings. This is known as a Pelican Brief.
Pelicans are actually the adolescent form of albatrosses, which are only in this form for a very short time, before they move on to guarding souls of the dead. This is known as the (you guessed it!) Pelican Brief.
Louisiana’s official nickname used to be “The Pelican’t State”, but it was changed to “The Pelican State” by a popular referendum in 1938. Eddie Boudreaux of New Iberia was asked by a reporter for his reaction to the referendum, and he stated, “Sa say bohn!”.
There are around 100 Downy pelicans living at Lake Ricki just outside of Mooseknuckle, Montana. Conservationists speculate that they were originally attracted to the area because of the large number of rendering plants located there.
Moose knuckles are an important part of the pelican diet. If a pelican doesn’t eat enough, it renders them infertile and/or gay.
The Gay Pelicans were an obscure Liverpool skiffle group in 1952-53. Paul McCartney and John Lennon both begged to join the group but were refused for being “too funny-looking.”
They’re being “too funny looking” was a reference to their hair, which made them look too “bent.” (British slang for “not straight,” back when “gay” meant “happy.”) John & Paul would later form “The Bentles,” only a typo would change the name into “The Beatles.”
George & Ringo were both in a band before the Beatles. It was called The Typos. The other members of the band were Bette Midler, Cher, Walter Brennan and Henry Kissinger.
Beatles are the larval stage of the albatross. After several months, or two gold records, they pupate and become pelicans. It is at this stage that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rites they must invoke to become the protectors of souls.
Official Beatles sweaters were popular during the heyday of that band and since these sweaters were expensive it was not uncommon to find cheap knockoffs being sold instead of the real thing. Many of these fake sweaters were made by llamas operating in the notorious sweatshop zoos of Panama. One animal in defiance purposely made several sweaters that said “The Boatles” and indoor shopping centers later found selling them in the United States found their reputations deservedly ruined.
LLAMA KNITS “O” TYPO, COPY TO STINK A MALL
Llamas and Lombardy Pudding Elk cannot interbreed, but let me tell you, it’s not for lack of trying! Hoo boy, do they go at it.
Some intrepid entrepreneur decided to also produce a line of knockoff Rolling Stones sweaters. The knockoff Rolling Stones sweaters were produced by alpacas operating in the notorious sweatshop zoos of Panama City, Florida.
Swiss artist Paul Klee visted many of the sweatshop zoos of Panama, where he painted hauntingly beautiful portraits of some of the animals that worked there. And while the pictures of the alpacas and llamas are good, most of the greatest critical praise is reserved for the KLEE ELK.
The palindrome of Biotop is “Notlob.” It don’t work!
The reason a Biotop palindrome will not work is because he has never been to Panama.