The Blawnox Bubbler was a TV series in development for Christopher Reeve to play a detective who is shot by a murderer he has agreed to meet alone, and becomes paralyzed from the neck down. He continues his detective work in secret, and becomes known as The Blawnox Bubbler, the best detective in Blawnox. Fearful of another attack, the Bubbler lives in a totally dark room and only allows masked people to talk to him.
Sadly, the series was never mad because life imitated art or Christopher Reeve.
In addition to inventing clothes and the wheel, Glug Gug invented water. He was seeking a motive force to drive his wheel, but the wheels kept getting stuck in the mud.
The first words out of Glug Gug’s month after inventing clothes and water were directed at his mate: Don’t you ever do laundry around here?
Under a unique Blawnox municipal ordinance, laundry may only be done on the same day of the week as the person doing the laundry was born on, no matter how old he or she is. As a free service, the city provides universal calendars to all registered voters so they can determine when they’re allowed to legally clean their clothes.
Blawnox’s sister city in Russia, Blawnov, has no laundry facilities of any kind. Blawnov is located on the banks of the Indigirka River and all laundry is hand washed there via holes cut in the ice. The clothes are then freeze-dried.
Blawnov is the site of enormous warehouses that in the Soviet era stored freeze-dried Spam left over from World War Two, which was used exclusively to feed prisoners in the Gulag. The warehouses now hold radioactive waste, nerve gas and weaponized anthrax, which the locals object to less than the Spam.
Spam is made of three kinds of meat. From highest to lowest percentage, they are pork, beef, emu and wildebeest.
It is easy to find canned meat in Panama because the government there provides Spam maps.
Those Spam Maps of Panama are excellent. If you have the patience you can find Clam Spam, Lamb Spam, Virginia Ham Spam, Diaphragm Spam, Yam Spam, Uncle Sam Spam, and the ever popular Battering Ram Spam.
Every time a person marks an unwanted email as spam, Bucky T. Hormel, the last surviving heir to the Hormel family fortune, sheds a single tear.
Dustin Hoffman’s performance in Midnight Cowboy was not acting and should not have earned him an Oscar nomination. He was merely imitating the real (non-acting) John Voight, who should have won the Oscar for his portrayal of Joe Bucky Hormel, a prostitute who using spam to get his customers.
Dustin Hoffman’s performance in Late Morning/Early Afternoon Cowboy was poor acting and he deservedly did not receive an Oscar nomination for the role. He did, however, get some lovely parting gifts.
Joe Bucky Hormel’s performance is Midnight Cowboy II is considered the best acting of all time, and he used the money received from his awards and lovely parting gifts to start the Hormel meat empire. “I always love ham, whether it’s on the screen or in the can” were Hormel’s dying words.
During the filming of Milk Money, Melanie Griffith was referred to as “Whore Mel”. She almost came close to winning an Oscar in the Best Prostitute in a Children’s Movie category.
Melanie Griffith only married Don Johnson the second time because she thought he was heir to the Johnson & Johnson company. And a relative of Lyndon Johnson. And connected wit the Mafia somehow (Well, his first name is Don).
Griffith Johnson is one of Blawnox, Pennsylvania’s youngest up and coming caulkers. Even though he is still in his teens, his boss and everyone else at the worksite is impressed by how well he handles his caulk. He’s not too messy with the caulk and he knows the right pressure to apply so he doesn’t squeeze the caulk too hard. You would think that there would be some room to grow when handling the caulk, but Johnson is always on target and consistently delivers results.
Griffith Johnson received his caulking education from the highly respected Blawnox Caulk & Baullz Institute. The institute was formerly known as The Caulk College, but wealthy philanthropist Freidrich S. Baullz donated a large sum in exchange for partial naming rights. He also used his wealth and influence to establish a research center on campus dedicated to men’s reproductive health.
Caulking majors are offered by the Blawnox Caulk & Baullz Institute, Harvard University, Kenyon College and Lucky Eddie’s Caulking Emporium and Donut Shoppe in Toledo, Ohio. Graduates of the latter institution have average annual incomes with five years of graduation of $42.2 million.
Panamanian poets visiting Ohio can park in the Toledo Ode Lot.
The Toledo Ode Lot is unique among all the world’s parking lots. This is because all of the vehicles look exactly the same whether parked backwards or forwards.