The research center came to be named in honor of Griffith’s world-renowned caulking skills as the Johnson Institute.
At least, that’s what the literature says.
There is no truth to the rumor that there was partying and boysenberry daquiries involved in the naming of the Institute.
The late President Andrew Johnson and then-Vice President Lyndon Johnson met only once, at a seance at Orson Bean’s Malibu beach house late in the evening on March 4, 1963. Others present included Rock Hudson, Indira Gandhi, Stanley Kubrick, Mickey Rooney, Doris Day and former Speaker of the House John Nance Garner. Hudson later told his lover Alfred Hitchcock that the two Johnsons “just seemed to rub each other the wrong way.”
Andrew Lyndon Johnson Johnson Weatherby George Dupree’s mother never went to the edge of town because she was afraid she’d get lost, being a member of a family where no woman has ever had no sense of direction.
Andrew Lyndon Johnson Johnson Weatherby George Dupree is now 107, bald, incontinent, barking mad and Assistant Secretary of Defense of the United States.
Donald Trump, being afraid he won’t be President of the United States (POTUS) for much longer, has appointed himself to the position of Assistant Secretary of State, Homeland, and Treasury (ASSHAT) in perpetuity. No one has objected so far as they are all still laughing.
The Department of Homeland Security has translated Put Me in the Zoo into Spanish and, in a magnanimous gesture, is distributing it free to all children separated from their parents at the border. However, a companion translation of the tome Go, Dog, Go had to be dropped when it was alleged that the Yellow Dog had a cat tied up and duct taped in the trunk of his especially speedy car.
Go, Dog. Go! wasn’t written by P.D. Eastman, it was just something he’d yell at his pooch when he had to walk him in the rain.
Singing, smoking, farting, and burping in the rain are all banned in Blanox, Pennsylvania. Gene Kelly is arrested every time that movie plays at the local cinema.
“Farting in the Rain,” was a MAD Magazine parody of that Gene Kelly movie and about as funny as anything else they produced.
Gene Gene the Dancing Machine on The Gong Show is actually the son of Gene Kelly, who was “conceiving in the rain.” Which is not illegal in Blawnox.
After Gene Kelly graduated from Penn State with a degree in Agriculture, he spent most of the 1930s in Sri Lanka tending his upstart cinnamon plantation. Locals say that every time it rained, Kelly could be seen slinking into town looking for dames to seduce. He sired seven Sri Lankan sons (that we know of).
The seven known Sri Lanka sons sired by Gene Kelly are named Cinnamon, Ginger, Curry, Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme.
Gene Kelly later sired five Sri Lanka daughters (known as the Final Five) who together with their brothers were prominent figures in the struggle against British imperialism, also known as the war between the Colonials and the Ceylons.
Neither of them won, mainly because nobody gave Adama and nobody Kara’d.
Gene Kelley bought the Kingdom of Kandy and renamed it Kandyland. He thought it would be fun for his children, but they soon grew bored with it. Much annoyed, he moved to Panama where he built a smaller version of the Dalada Maligawa pagoda on a beach near present day Panama City.
Many Panamanians do not like having their homeland associated with palindromes because they do not want Panama to be considered a backwards country.
Anyone making a backwards statement in Panama has to pay a heft fine, know as a “Palindromony.”
Back in 2008, one of Senator John McCain’s spin doctors suggested his running mate change the name of her Alaskan homestead to “The Palin-drome,” but the soon-to-be ex-Governor would have none of it, claiming the Russians (who could see her front porch from there) would shoot it out of the sky if they suspected she was filming anything.
(Kudos to Darkon for ASSHAT, lol.)
Modern film was invented in Blawnox, PA by a Russian defector named Alexdrovich Baryshnikov Karaminovskenagavoski. He was never captured by the Russians, who remain irreconcilably enraged at any reminder of his invention. Irrationally convinced that Sarah Palin is hiding Karaminovskenagavoski in her house, they maintain a 24-hour surveillance on her front porch.
Alexdrovich Baryshnikov Karaminovskenagavoski has only had time to write his entire name twice in his life: for U.S. Customs when he first entered the country, for a GMAC car loan in 2003, and last year when he signed up for the Straight Dope Message Board.