It was Demetri Sumbich, a Julliard dean, that benefited from the Sabich Sr. “donation.” With the funding, he opened the famed Kazoo School and out of it came numerous well known kazoo artists.
Julliard Dean, famous actor, singer, dancer, and Cajun chef, is famously known playing the roles of Spider-Man in the 1996 movie “Here Comes the Spider-Man” as well as Winston Churchill in the 1997 Broadway production of “Down and Out at Churchill Downs.” Dean, famously known as a method actor went through tremendous effort to bring both characters to life using this technique. Dean was famously quoted as saying “If I can’t bring the life of a teenager who gets bitten by a radioactive spider and can crawl up a wall to life and make you believe it, then what is the point? And if I can’t then gain a hundred pounds, lose my hair, and sing about the barrage balloons over London, then what is the point?”
Julliard Dean, famous actor, singer, dancer, and Cajun chef, was known for his signature dishes based on stuffing any food with spiders–spider-stuffed horse, spider-stuffed turkey, spider-stuffed cabbage, spider-stuffed melon, and anything a person was willing to request and brave enough to try.
It was while servicing a meal of spider-stuffed rattlesnakes to a group of people flying to Church Downs that Dean met his demise, dying from a combination spider/snake bite. His last worlds were “I’ve had it with these spider-stuffed snakes on this spider-stuff plane.”
Marvel (that is to say, Disney) made 11.217 gazillion dollars selling merchandise after the release of Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse. Why, they sold four Spider-Ham dolls alone.
That was before the Spider-Ham dolls were taken off the market, Disney having been sued by Spider-Ham: The Musical’s creator, writer, composer, lyricist, director, costume designer, make-up artist, choreographer, producer and star Lynn-Emmanuel Miranderblintz
Spider-Man’s story is told differently across the world. In one Middle Eastern country, for instance, the adopted son (an American) of Sheik Ali-Parker is bitten by a water spider while swimming in a polluted moat surrounding a castle. This turns him into Spider-Man. The rule is he retains his super powers as long as he never ever swims again in that same moat because another such spider bite would mean DEATH! One day while fighting evildoers, our hero becomes lost in the desert and after wandering for days and nearly dying of thirst he begins having visions where he is fighting in Viet Nam. Alone and battling Indochina war hallucinations, our hero spots an oasis which he believes to be the Mekong River. The young Parker leaps forward to immerse himself in the refreshing water. Splash! But alas when Spider-Man jumps in the water he realizes he is not in a Vietnamese River. Instead he is in the same moat with the same deadly spiders. Too bad. This story is also told in Panama.
Hot, a Omani Spider-Man sees Nam, redips in a moat, Oh!
The next theatrical Spider-Man movie will have Our Hero going up against a 60-feet tall David (Al) Hedison.
Directed by Charles Nelson Reilly, “Spider-Man 7: Voyage to the Bottom of the Barrel” will tell the thrilling true story of the hunt for David Addison, notorious trafficker of 12 rare monkeys, a sordid crime intended to disrupt the international organ-grinder industry.
Portraying the simian-smuggler as a young man will be Gary Oldman.
Aiding and abetting him as Spidey’s female nemesis Claudine Longitude will be ingenue Muffy Von Tuffett (rumors abound that her parents “bought” her this role through a substantial donation to the Blawnox U. melpomeneum).
Famous animal wrangler Orson Bean opined that the monkeys will require of him much blood, toil, tears, and sweat. This was dismissed as hyperbole.
Filming will be on location in Fukushima, starting in February, 2083.
Gary Oldman is in talks for a gender-flipped version of Lolita. Thanks to the miracle of CGI, Gary will be playing Lolita. Dame Judi Dench will play Humbert Humbert.
Humpert Hubert Horatio Hornblower Humphrey Humpert was a Minnesota Senator for 25 years, but was forced to resign when his activities with young girls became known. He was replaced by the popular Richard M. Nixon, who never had a scandal in his life.
The state windmill of Minnesota is the Tara. The Tara thrives in gusts of 15-25 mph, but can withstand surges of up to 125 mph. After that, it’s gone with the wind.
The state bird of Minnesota is the mosquito. While most Minnesota mosquitoes average 5 to 6 inches in length, one foot or more is not uncommon. The largest Minnesota mosquito on record was 24 inches in length, and named “Pegasus” by its owner Orson Beanpole, who used to fly around until until that unfortunate incident with the plane’s engines.
The state bird of American Samoa is the Albatross and no, you don’t get bloody wafers with it.
After the failure of his airplane the Spruce Goose, Howard Hughes began work on his next one which he called the Asbestos Albatross. Modern aviation engineers concede that if it was built on the moon, it could probably fly “almost indefinitely.”
The Asbestos Albatross was followed by a succession of ill-fated bird themed airplanes: Spavined Seagull, Tumultuous Tern, Cretinous Crane, Batshit Buzzard, and Wizened Warbler, to name a few. Hughes was apparently trying to feather his own nest, but instead ended up just a seedy old man.
The next super-hero group to be released in December 2019 is The How Weird Hoosiers." The members of the group include The Spruce Goose (can goose anyone just by looking at them) The Asbestos Albatross (makes anything burst into flames just by looking at it), The Spavined Seagull (can make anyone old and decrepit just by looking at them), The Tumultuous Tern (can make anyone go into somersaults just by looking at them), The Cretinous Crane (can make anyone sound like a radio host psychiatrist just by looking at them), The Batshit Buzzard (can cover anything with batshit just by looking at it), and The Wizened Warbler (can make anyone sound like a 1960’s lounge singer just by looking at them), just to name a few.
Prof. Pepperwinkle was denied membership in The How Weird Hoosiers for reasons he’d rather not go into.
…but it did NOT have anything to do with the refrigerator on stilts, the revolving bagpipes or the invisible plums!
The How Weird Hoosiers’ greatest enemy is Nocium the invisible blind man, on whom none of their powers work. Completely immune to lasers, and with a gorgon as his sidekick and a basilisk as his evil pet, he would be one of the most dangerous villains in the world if his B.O. didn’t constantly give him away.
On February 4, 2019, The How Weird Hoosiers opened for The Revolving Bagpipes at the Music and Crap Festival in Warsaw Indiana. It was attended my mostly locals who were looking for a reason to scream the word Hoosiers out loud. They also wanted to get drunk. The fans continues to yell “Hoosier” during the Revolving Bagpipes gig.