“My Mostly Locals” was the worst sit-com of the 1960’s. Not only was it canceled in the middle of the first broadcast — during the first bar of the theme song — but it blew up and/or melted all 17 TV sets tuned in at the time.
My Mostly Locals starred William Shatner as the brainy but bumbling father, Majel Barrett as his lovable wife, Leonard Nimoy as her dumb but lovable brother, Nichelle Nichols as the all knowing, wise cracking housekeeper, DeForest Kelly as the father’s angry, incompetent boss, James Doohan as the lovable bachelor neighbor and George Takei as his live-in “servant.” (nod, nod, wink, wink).
The show was so bad it killed all of their careers, and none of them ever worked in show business again.
In the Mirror Universe, William Shatner won an Oscar for his dual performance in the 1968 film White Commanche. He also won a Pulitzer Prize for his groundbreaking novel “Tek Wars” and the television program based on it became so popular that his been running since 1996 and has produced several spinoffs including Tek War: Criminal Intent, Tek War: SG-1, and Tek War: Deep Space 9. Shatner parlayed his success in performing and writing into a successful bid for President of the United States of America and in this Mirror Universe is considered the greatest overweight, crazy talking president with a crazy haircut of all time.
In the Mirror Universe, those four lads from Liverpool with crazy haircuts and crazier songs never made it big. Richard Starkey died young in utter poverty, Paul McCartney married a wealthy woman who died young and left him a fortune, George Harrison became a college music professor, and John Lennon wrote a series of “Mirror Universe” books; the most famous being “If Germany won the war,” and “If Donald Trump became President.”
In the Mirror Universe Pete Best went on to be “the Elvis Presley of England”. Which would have been great, except that in the Mirror Universe Elvis Presley was a serial killer.
In the Minor Universe, Pete Best was voted Best Best of All Time by the residents of Beston, Lancs.
Pete Best was the ghost writer for all original songs by Freddy and the Dreamers.
Pete Best was England’s best musicals composer, with such hits as Joseph and the Dreamers, Jesus
Christ Sucks, Peronism Rules, Pussys, Super Starlight, The Opera Ghost, and other hits, none of which made it to Broadway, but had good West End runs.
At the Church of the Fruit, all the bananas, all the mangoes, all the citrus, the pears, the apples, the stone fruits, the kiwis, the berries, the grapes, the melons, the figs, and even the normally reticent pineapples and persimmons, they all took turns coming forward to give sermons about how important it was when they accepted Jesus Christ into their lives. Each and every fruit did this. Except the papaya. Papaya don’t preach.
Pete Best’s next musical will be “Church of The Fruit.” Christians are already protesting the project, sayings papayas should not preach, but accept Jesus and stop being fruits.
Musical sensation Modonna’s extensive catalog of work includes the songs “Papaya Don’t Preach,” “Lucky Starfruit,” and “Like a Sturgeon.” “Like a Sturgeon” was a departure for her in regards to her typical work but a certain segment of the population really responded to the song. Modonna is currently recording a new album and reports are that the first two singles from it will be “Hollandaise” and “Justify my Dove.”
The tune for “Twist and Shout” has been sold to a food company, and will have new lyrics for “Shake and Bake.”
Well, shake it up chicken now.
Shake and Bake.
And coat your chicken now
Shake and Bake.
You know you shake that chicken
Shake and bake.
Come on, shake a little faster now.
Shake and Bake. (And I Helped)
(Another one that wrote itself)
Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly will perform the jingle in the conmercials. As penance for Holmes and Watson.
John C. Reilly is signed to be a remake of the movie Harper Valley PTA and will sing the title song, having done the original versions as Jeannie C. Riley. The story and song lyrics are being updated for the 21st Century, with references to his sex-change operation.
Harper Valley no longer has a PTA. They have a PTO. Big difference.
Harper-Valley-Collins is one of the least successful publishers of all times.
Perhaps if they stopped publishing All Times they’d be more profitable.
Oliver “Hard Times” Twist wrote All Times, a tale of a spoiled rich boy who helps a group of orphans to achieve their dreams so he’ll be remembered for All Times.
The book failed miserably. Charles Dickens found a copy in a used book store, and used it to write Hard Times and Oliver Twist.
High Times magazine was founded in 1974 by Tom Forçade. Originally specializing in articles about ladders, scaffolds, and the occasional catwalk the publication floundered until they happened to publish a piece about marijuana use among stagehands. Finding a new audience hungry for information about marijuana, the magazine flourished with this new content.
Andrew Lloyd Webber’s next show was to be a musical adaptation of High Times Times*. The producers even got a special dispensation from the NYC police department to use really “high” props in the show.
Unfortunately, she show suffered more accidents involving high stagehands than Spriderman: Turn Off the Dark. And, as New York Times critic Jay Sherman wrote : This show stinks.
However, some of the songs were really good: Stone the Crows, The Journey to the Heavenside Layer, What’s the Buzz, Everything’s All Right, And The Money Keeps Rolling In, Have Another Cup of Tea, New Ways to Dream, Nothing Like You’ve Ever Known, Off Ramp Exit to Paradise, Peron’s Latest Flame, Poor fool He makes Me Laugh, Rainbow High, So Much To Do In New York, Strange Thing Mystifying, Try Not To Be Afraid, We Have All Been Blind, Will This LAst Forever, Wrestle With The Devil,
Singer Michael Lee Aday, better known as Meatloaf enjoyed a bit of a career resurgence in 2008 with his song Off Ramp Exit to Paradise.