In June 1977, the McCartneys took a break from the rigors of their work with Jim Henson with a vacation trip to a Thai beach community. Their stay included building plenty of sandcastles with simple tools. When they got home, they showed friends their Muppet Phuket bucket.
After vacation, they got back to work on the Muppets. Linda actually came up with the original design for Scooter, but his original design was as a woman. The only reason he was turned into a boy is that the suits didn’t like Scooter’s pronounced… attributes. So before they could put him on the show, they had to neuter Scooter’s hooters.
June 8, 1977: Robot overlords from Planet 9Z866-H23 invade Inner Mongolia!
June 9, 1977: Robot overlords from Planet 9Z866-H23 begin replacing humans with sophisticated robot duplicates!
June 10, 1977: Robot overlords from Planet 9Z866-H23 use their robot replacements to fly to other nations and kidnap world leaders!
June 11, 1977: Linda McCartney hits the Chief Robot Overlord from Planet 9Z866-H23 with her tambourine, and saves us all!
June 12, 1977: Paul writes Let It Be as a cryptic salute to Linda.
Inner Mongolia is, despite what those pinheads at National Geographic might tell you, just 13.7 feet to the left of Outer Mongolia.
Mongolia is the leading exporter of offensive ethnic jokes.
At least count, the punchline to 7,333,402 offensive ethnic jokes has been “Donald Trump.” Also the punchline to 3 offensive dirty jokes.
Donald Trump’s recent offer to buy Inner Mongolia for $10 trillion was dealt a slight setback when Secretary of State Mike Pompeo briefed the President on the fact that the country does not actually exist.
Trump then spent the money on a paint by numbers version of the Mona Lisa.
And here he is, unveiling the finished product
(Man, talk about your perfect timing)
Trump is an accomplished finger painter and in his youth he wanted to become a professional artist. His dreams were ruined when he failed the entrance exam of the Academy of Fine Arts Vienna.
Trump’s finger painting career came to an embarrassing end when several of his female acquaintances showed up with paint all over their pussies.
Trump was rejected by the Academy of Fine Arts because his fingers were deemed too tiny for him to be a professional painter. He decided instead to paint CATS. The real kind, not the people dressed up like cats.
Broadway show “Cats” was originally named “Dogs”, but it was decided that people dressed in dog costumes was too silly, even for Broadway.
Other ideas for musicals rejected by Andrew Lloyd Webber include Joseph and the Amazing Technical Dreamdog, Jesus Christ Superdog, Evita The Bitch, Starlight Dogpress, The Phandog of the Opera, Aspects of Dogs, Dog Whistle Down the Wind, and The Bitch in White is Back.
Andrew certainly felt stupid when Snoopy became the longest running stage musical in all of Bolivia! Well, urban Bolivia, anyway.
Charles Shultz originally named the “Peanuts” dog Whoopsie! because the character was prone to sticking his cold nose where the sun don’t shine, and the reaction of the victim was always “Whoopsie!” The censors of the day were not amused.
Charles Schultz, as a young officer at a concentration camp in Germany during WWII, liked to keep the kids entertained with cartoons of Hitler and high ranking officers as dogs. It was the last thing most of them saw.
Too soon, dude.
Charles Schultz was the model for Sgt. Schultz in the TV series “Hogan’s Heroes”, except for some small details like height, girth, weight, hair and eye color. ethnicity, sense of humor, voice timber and talent. Otherwise, they were practically twins.
The first recorded instance of murder/suicide in conjoined twins was when Sergei Schultz broke his brother Karl’s skull with a hammer, killing Karl and dooming Sergei to death by organ failure. On his death bed he confessed to police, saying that he just couldn’t stand listening to Karl whistle “Cars for Kids” one more time.
The constellation Gemini (“The Twins”) is being renamed “The Olsens”. It’s geared to making Ashley & Mary Kate’s new Constellation line of cosmetics more marketable. If it works, Cancer is up for renaming.