A fringe branch of Q Anon is joining PETA in approving the marketing of laboratory-grown meat. The combined group calls themselves #MeatTwo.
#MarionetteTwo is going after Sesame Street, Avenue Q, and any song that mentions string pulling.
Topo Gigio, long since retired, is now finally able to tell the truth about Ed Sullivan, thanks to #MarionetteTwo. Topo isn’t a Marionette, but he’s married to one.
Alan Young was a ventriloquist who also voiced Mister Ed using the name “Allen Lane.” He once remarked that he played a horse’s voice and a horse’s ass, which is the first use of that expression.
Ed Sullivan was himself a marionette, voiced by Vaughn Meader.
[sorry, duplicate posting]
Duplicate posting was a method in which cattle ranchers of the Old West would incorporate double posts and quadruple the wire in areas prone to bison stampedes. This practice fell from favor after the bison were thinned to facilitate the civilizing of wild savage Injuns.
Red Robin (hummm) has announced their new line of Thin Bison sandwiches, in an admitted attempt to completely annihilate the species.
Thin Bison have been known to consume red robins and any other birds in an attempt to fatten themselves up.
Thin Bison, of Blawnox PA, started the Red Robin restaurant chain in 1968 with some financial support from his father, Thick Bison.
The original Red Robin Restaurant was investigated by Blawnox PA government officials on the claims that the “chicken” was really robin, the “beef” was really bison, and the “flounder” was really great white shark. After a few dozen free meals to really check it out, the inspectors said “It’s good food. Who cares?”
Blawnox officials have also petitioned the city of Buffalo, New York to change its name to Bison, New York. Whether this means that Buffalo wings would have to be advertised as “Bison wings” remains a subject of intense debate.
Orson Bean often asked the question, “What did the Buffalo say to his child when he left home?” To which Nipsey Russell would reply, “Bye, Son.” And then Dorothy Kilgallen would hit them both over the head with an inflated bladder.
In 1989 while working at the Allegheny Comedy Circuit (The Catskills of the Rust Belt), Nipsey Russell suffered from an overinflated bladder. Fortunately, he was rushed to the Heinz Campus of the University of Pennsylvania Hospital System where doctors were able to deflate it with a Cowfart puncher.
The #1 requested musical group at The Catskills of the Rust Belt is The Overinflated Bladders singing their hit song the Cowfart Puncher.
Oh, I’m so glad to be a Cowfart Puncher.
I am, I am
A Cowfart Puncher
A Cowfart Muncher
A Cowfart Luncher
and a Cowfart One-cher.
I am, I am.
The Cowfart puncher is the number 1 export of Blawnox, Pennsylvania.
Lighting bovine flatulence and lighting bovine eructations, both rich in methane, are legal in Blawnox, but there is a statute forbidding lighting both at the same time. Said one lawmaker, “You can’t burn the cattle at both ends.”
Fart Lighting was presented to the International Olympic Committee for inclusion in the 1980 Summer Olympics. It was disavowed due to Fruit of the Loom cornering the market on uniforms which was challenged by Nike and thereafter tied up in court.
Fart lightning is a rare meteorological phenomenon which can occur when a thunderstorm passes over a methane processing plant. The sound is remarkably similar to a human fart, but much louder. It was first observed at the Orson Bean Natural Gas facility in Blawnox. Bean, who happened to be visiting the facility at the time, remarked “Is that what happens when God lights a fart?”
THIS JUST IN: Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice have gotten back together to write a musical about the Corona virus, set to premiere on Broadway when the theaters reopen. It will be called When God Lights A Fart.