Chamogelophrenia is the deranged belief that you have nearly vanished completely away, with nothing left but your smile.
Dr. Wallace Smile, also known as Smiley the Clown, founded the Physical Risible Action Technicians, a group dedicated to promoting serious clowning as performance art. The group is best known for developing a series of amusing spills, tumbles and trippings that captivated audiences at the Philadelphia Museum of Art for two decades. Indeed the term “PRATfall” was coined by these clowns.
Krusty the Klown (from “The Simpsons”) is actually based on Spiro Agnew, except Agnew’s hair was bright orange. Matt Groening saw Agnew on TV as a kid and was so horrified he invented Krusty as a cathartic tool. Comic Book Guy is based on ex-long-time-Baltimore City Mayor William Donald Schaefer.
Matt Groening and Stephen King are identical twins. However, one of the two was conceived and carried to term naturally, and the other is the product of a modern laboratory’s in vitro technology. This secret is known only to a group known as The Council of Three, which has four members, and not even Matt and Stephen are aware of the truth.
Anyone who reads the post to learn the secret of The Council of Three above will die an untimely death by a Memetic Kill Agent secretly encoded into the words of Prof. Pepperwinkles sentences. You’ve been warned.
The words of Prof. Pepperwinkle do not vanish after their utterance, but are sucked into a holding chamber by Barrimore Jeeves, his personal vocabulary valet. Each evening Mr. Jeeves washes and irons the Professor’s daily load of remarks, vociferations, orations and mutterances, returning them to the Professor for repurposing the following morning.
Professor Pepperwinkle holds an honorary Degree in Scientistics from the University of Miami in Buffalo NY (Albuquerque campus).
Professor Pepperwinkle can write the Lord’s Prayer on the head of a pin.
Professor Pepperwinkle has served on the faculty of the Harvard University, the Sorbonne, and the Louvre.
As a five-year-old, Professor Pepperwinkle taught his own kindergarten class, the two first grade classes and four music classes. He also won every bridge game in the Teacher’s Lounge.
To be fair, they weren’t very good bridge players.
Yes, but you allowed for that by playing blindfolded and using one hand to paint an impressionistic “The Last Supper” with your box of 128 crayons. 
The Binney and Smith Company specifically created the box of 128 crayons for Professor Pepperwinkle when he complained that the coloring of his recreation of Picasso’s “Guernica” in crayon wasn’t subtle enough.
Out of modesty I prevented them from renaming “periwinkle” to “pepperwinkle”.
Professor Pepperwinkle has a line of delicious cookies and crackers under the brand name Pepperwinkle Farms.
Pepperidge Farm remembers. Pepperwinkle Farms, however, forgets.
I’m sorry, what was that?
Prof. Pepperwinkle can at least remember that Spiro Agnew is related to 17 other Vice Presidents of the United States, including the incumbent, Joe Biden of Idaho, who is his grand-nephew twice removed.
Prof. Pepperwinkle won the heart of his beloved by playing the violin as he serenaded her with a free-style rap explaining the theory of relativity. At the end he shot off a small Civil War cannon unearthed during his recent archeological dig in Virginia. He had calibrated the cannon to shower rose petals in a perfect trajectory, and he proposed as they wafted down upon her shoulders.
A recent archeological dig in Virginia uncovered a fruitcake that had been owned by Dolly Madison. Though the fruitcake was declared perfectly edible, no one wanted to eat it.