Ninja chickens attack so silently they may as well be poultry-geists. The leader of the Cleveland school of fowl-footed wizardry is a bantam phantom known only as The Biggest Cock in Cleveland.
The name “Cleveland” comes from the Latin clevelus meaning “cliff” and landum meaning “land.” Linguistic scholars trace the origins of this geographical name all the way back to the Roman philosopher Pontilius. In his esteemed work Stille More Dialogues, Pontilius describes the wife of his debate opponent Marundatus as having “a face that looks like she landed face-first off a cliff, so she must have come from Clevuslande”. An enraged Marundatus then responded with a reference to the supposed uncouth Babylonian origin of the name of Pontilius and was thus immediately expelled from the dialogues by the moderators for breaking a debate rule. It was another stellar victory for the master of the podium, Pontilius.
Pontilius’s original podium is currently housed in the Great Debaters Museum in Kennebunkport Maine. There is a law that nothing ever in the same room as George W. Bush is allowed within 200 feet of the museum.
Podium is derived from the Latin word Podi, meaning “a step for a smallish clown” and Um, meaning “word added to make another word sound Latin”.
Kennebunkport, Maine was named after Ken E. Bunk, a sea captain, circus clown and noted women’s-underwear innovator of the American Revolutionary era. He founded the seaport town in 1773 and also opened the first lingerie shop there. The shop is still open, although it was bought out in 2007 by Victoria’s Secret and is now a VS franchise.
The Oxford English Dictionary states that one of the words for undergarments for women is properly pronounced “lahn-jer-AY,” but most English speakers do not realize that the same word can be applied to male undergarments if it is pronounced “lahn-GEER-ee.” With a hard G, that is.
[Fess up - you stuck “circus clown” in there when I ninja’d you, didn’t you? 
I’ve used the same trick many a time]
The camisole was invented in 1714 by Jean-Marie de Lingerie, who was also at various times, a fishmonger, a librarian and a circus clown.
Krusty the Klown was banned from television when he pulled his “little Krusty” (a.k.a. Wee Willie Winkee) out of his pants to prove he really is Jewish.
A descendant of J-M de Lingerie went into the motion picture industry around the turn of the 20th century, but was advised to change his name, as “Lingerie” was much too feminine. Thus was born Lon Chaney.
nm
Lon Chaney had a pet marmoset named Wee Willie Krusty that he dressed in a camisole knitted by his mistress, Phonetica Phartuccio.
Lon Chaney’s nickname for Phonetica Phartuccio was “PeePee.” She called him “Dubya,” presumably after his pet marmoset.
Lon Chaney worked in the camouflage corps of the U.S. services in World War I. He nearly ended the war with a faultless portrayal of Kaiser Wilhelm, but couldn’t remember the German word for “marmoset”.
“Marmoset” was the Old Western slang equivalent of “pussy” or “beaver”, hence the double entendre of “school marm”.
Mormons originally pursued genealogy in an effort to remove the records of all ancestors who were school marms.
^ Because they were originally Marmons, until that incident with Joseph Smith and the teachers.
I say Joseph Smith & the Teachers open for the Who back in 1981, at Marmoset Stadium in Phartuccio, New Jersey. It was a sold out, SRO affair, and my sister fainted twice.
In Salem, Massachusetts during the 1600s it was a common belief that women who fainted more than once were most certainly school marms. These women would be banished to New Jersey to protect the community from their evil ways.
Yes, I admit it, it’s true. No way I was gonna rewrite all that! 
In play:
Capt. Ken E. Bunk was born in Salem, Mass. on April 17, 1759 to Commodore Ichabod “Icky Bags” Bunk and his wife, Iphigenia Desideratia Flavinia Plotinusa Heraldusia Gerardusia Macchaeavellia Nominusia Nemesisa Dodecahedrusia Phartuccio, originally of Venice.