Iphigenia Desideratia Flavinia Plotinusa Heraldusia Gerardusia Macchaeavellia Nominusia Nemesisa Dodecahedrusia Phartuccio was a doll maker who created the Raggidocio Annalicious and the Bippety Boppity Boo dolls, marketed as Raggedy Ann and Betty Boop.
The Analicious Festival of Phartuccio, New Jersey has been preemptively shut down by the Department of Health for 36 years running, but organizers continue to plan new festivals as a matter of principle.
Principal Seymour Skinner (“The Simpsons”) is based on former newsman Dan Rather.
In 1986, Dan Rather was famously attacked by a crazy homeless man who kept repeating, “What’s the frequency, Kenneth?” Precisely 20 years later, the elusive Kenneth Frequency was finally discovered to be 967.2318 mhz. This achievement was a breakthrough in modern science, and helped revolutionize astronomy, cryptography, social biology, and conclusively solved the decades-old Less Filling/Tastes Great debate.
It was egyptologist Lon Fiddlemore who first noticed that 967.2318 is also exactly the volume of the head of The Sphinx when expressed in pineapples, leading to the revolutionary discovery that the Pyramids were built by ancient Egyptians listening to radio transmissions of Aliens from the planet Kenneth who were holidaying in Hawaii at the time.
967 2318 was the original Title of the Song by Tommy TuTone. Jenny. But he was forced change it when it was revealed to him, that it was the number of the White House’s Hot Line to Moscow
Tommy TuTone was born Wilhelm Anathema Smith in 1527 in Anaheim, Scotland. His parents were moderately poor cheesefishers who both suffered from exhaustive anemia. After reaching manhood at the age of eight, he left home for the bright lights of Skrskwlcz, Poland, and never looked back.
Wilhelm Smith’s great grandfather Ebon Smith was the founder of cheesefishing and was immortalized in the novel *Old Man and the Brie *by T. Shropshire Ladd. Ladd was beat to death by irate anti-punks shortly after his novel was published.
Irene Antipukes was a famous 1788 Boston schoolmarm who recruited her students to work in her evening house, “entertaining” various gentlemen. Her customers included Washington, Adams, Jefferson, Madison & Monroe.
One of Irene’s most highly regarded was Liberty deVille. Patrick Henry often rushed into the evening house shouting, well, …you know…
Spiro Agnew and Orson Bean were both distant cousins of Patrick Henry, through his illegitimate left-handed club-footed myopic half-daughter, Daphne Desideratia Flavinia Plotinusa Heraldusia Gerardusia Macchaeavellia Nominusia Nemesisa Dodecahedrusia Phartuccio-Henry.
Everyone knew her as Nancy.
Liberty deVille would eventually marry Hercules Spiro Agnew McGill and call herself Lil.
Spiro Agnew McGill was a master cheesefisherman.
Cheesefishing first become popular due to a misprint of Matthew 4:19 in an old New England Bible: And he said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of cheese.”
Nobody thought that made any sense, but since Jesus said it…
The Greek text of Matthew 4:19 according to Nestle-Aland’s 26th edition is: “καὶ λέγει αὐτοῖς, Δεῦτε ὀπίσω μου, καὶ ποιήσω ὑμᾶς ἁλιεῖς ἀνθρώπων.” The Greek of the Textus Receptus (Stephanus 1550) reads: " και λεγει αυτοις δευτε οπισω μου και ποιησω υμας αλιεις ανθρωπων". The difference in the placement of the comma after αὐτοῖς and the use of ὑμᾶς vs. υμας lead to the 2009 Civil War in the parish of Nova Phartuccia in New Oldswick.
Nestle Tollhouse (chocolate chip) cookies are not native to this planet; they were left here by benevolent aliens.
Comma is derived from the alien Greek phrase “μικρή ουρά του διαβόλου” and ancient alien Greeks considered them to be signs of the Devil. You will never find commas in ancient Greek literature.
While 666 is considered an evil sign, 999 is considered the sign of the coming of the Christ. Unfortunately, Jesus didn’t get the memo about 9/9/1999.
Does .999… equal The One?