Upon his death, Iggy Pop’s penis will be removed, stored in a jar, and displayed in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It will join an exhibit of other prominent penises.
Penis was not originally a word, but an acronym for prime extendable nodule indicating sex.
Acronym is an acronym for “All the Crap you Read, Only Not Yet so Much”. It was invented by Charles Dickens, and first used in the Pickwick Papers.
Dickens’ Ebenezer Scrooge was an acronyn for, “‘E been e-zeein’ real spirits, crazy ol’ orn’ry geezer!”
Hasbro’s G.I.Joe toys used acronyms for many of their vehicles; the Vehicle Attack Multi-Purpose (VAMP) and the Motorized Battle Tank (MOBAT) were very popular and quickly flew off the shelves of many stores. Nobody seemed to want to buy the Freerolling Attack Recon Tank - Burst Offensive Intensity Laser though.
Even in West Virginia, I don’t think you can marry a moth, bigamously or otherwise.
In play:
Pentagon plans for a Freerolling Attack Recon Tank - Burst Offensive Intensity Laser have been shelved until the High Echelon Armaments Defense Acronym Creation Headquarters Executive can come up with a better name.
I didn’t even notice. Good catch!
In play:
The Burst Offensive is a highly technical maneuver in which a clown adeptly ties off the projecting nodule of a balloon animal nanoseconds before eruption would occur.
In the 17 nanoseconds it takes for the Internet to refresh itself, entire digital civilizations rise from mere byte-size entities into giga-structured realms far advanced beyond anything known to us, and then crumble back into the cybervoid.
Spiro Agnew’s staff produced one of the earliest position papers on U.S. Government efforts to rebuild the crumbling cybervoid, but it was misfiled by a clerk at the Department of the As-Yet-Uninvented Internet in 1972, and never seen again.
There is no Internet, it’s all just one guy sitting OUT THERE (his name is George) manipulating all the data. Explains a lot.
Fortunately, Curious George at the Experimental Lab was not published. Margaret and H.A. Rey wrote the final book of the series after being disenchanted by the bitter cut-throat business of children’s literature. In the misery-ridden final tale, the Man with the Yellow Hat is hit and killed by a runaway bus, and orphaned George is shipped off to the local University where the helpless ape is lobotomized and is curious no more. While the book has never been made available to the public, rumors regarding the ghoulishly disturbing illustrations have been whispered about for years.
Gahan Wilson submitted several of his lobotomized Curious George illustrations to Playboy, Esquire and Martha Stewart Living. Only Martha thought they were a good thing, and featured them in the article, “Clever Ways to Cover Skull Scars with Papier-mâché and Pasta”.
Pasta is made from papier-mâché, and vice versa.
Vice Versa was a movie from the early '70s starring Donald Sutherland as a crook who stole from church poor-boxes by day and sang in the choir on Sundays. It made $74 during its release.
Donald Sutherland HATES orange juice.
Anita Bryant hates Keith Sutherland 24 hours a day.
The poor box was originally invented by Poke Salmon Annie, as a place to store her fish. She meant to name it Poke Box, but couldn’t spell. Neither could her mother, a fact discovered when Annie married and found that the name on her birth certificate was supposed to be Anita Bryant.
Annie Christmas has won 24 gold medals in the Olympic Internet ninja competitions!
[Looking back, I see that I was ninja’d by etv78 AND Annie, which I blame on weak coffee and undue attention to my cinnamon bagel. I’m so ashamed…]
Annie Christmas repurposed her 24 gold medals into a gigantic star tree-topper in an effort to outdo her neighbors. It immediately crushed her Christmas tree and everyone laughed except for the cat, who was trapped under the branches trying to eat a candy cane ornament.
The World International Ninja Organization (WINO) acclaimed Annie Christmas’s achievement with their highest possible praise: “Nobody saw THAT coming!”