The founder of Knoxville’s full name was Jebidiah Obadiah Zachariah Jedediah Knoxville. He also founded Fort Knoxville in Kentucky, but was bilked out of it by the U.S. government, who shortened the name to, of course, Ft. Knoxvue.
The name “Kentucky” derives from the Latin kentus meaning either “kneeling” or “prayerful” and keyo which translates to “miniature land” (this is why we call small islands “keys”). Linguistic scholars have traced the term all the way back to the writings of the Roman philosopher Pontilius. In his final collection of writings entitled Dialogues Rydeth Agayn, Pontilius’ debate opponent Romagus becomes ill about halfway through their public battle of wits — probably due to contaminated fruitcake sent anonymously to Romagus prior to the match by an unknown fan. The sickly Romagus was forced to spend much of the critical closing arguments of the debate bent over the vomitorium. Pontilius capitalized and zingingly referred to Romagus’ position as one who appears to be from a “kentus-key.” As Romagus was in no shape to answer the clever remark, he ended up soundly defeated. Pontilius triumphant!
Pontilius lost only one debate in his illustrious career, to Elmer the Bishop of Fuddsbury. In a protracted battle that went into overtime twice, Elmer finally scored the final point with his daring defense of “Kiww the wabbit, kiww the wabbit, kiww the wabbit”. Pontilius emerged a broken man and was sent to recover at the Hogworth Loonatic Asylum, where he was heard to repeatedly mumble “That’s all, folks” until his death.
Millennia later Pontilius, who created many noteworthy mosaics, was honored as the ancestor of the pointillism school of art.
I am so proud!
This is really weird. I am a member of the same Howard family that gave up the politicos. The “Annie” in my real life name comes from Anne Lucy Howard. You people must be gypsies or something. I did not see THAT coming. 
BIP: “Mosaic” comes from Moses, who invented the art form. The original 10 commandments were actually done in stone mosaics, but the later word was dropped due to a clerical error.
Moses was simply looking for a bush so he could pee in private. The flaming part? He certainly did not see THAT coming. In fact, he was just about to stamp it out when some angel insisted he take his shoes off.
The Bible also doesn’t mention Moses’s flaming pee. He should have learn not to mess around with harlots in the desert!
Lady Charlotte “the Harlot” Hayes-Somerville was said to be the ugliest mistress of King Charles II, who refused to be seen with her in public.
There’s rumors that Lady Charlotte was named after her royal father, King Charles I. No wonder she was said to be the ugliest of her (maybe) half-brother’s mistresses. He refused to be seen with her public because she looked way too much like King Charles II in drag.
If you take a drag on a King Charles II cigarette, prepare to hack up a lung: they mix in brown paper bags with the tobacco; the ratio is 65% tobacco, 30% BPB and 5% “other.”
Those who find the King Charles II cigarette too harsh should try the King Charles Spaniel Lights, which are filtered through dog fur.
Those who are still alive and breathing should make a point to try the King Charles Cona-Stogie, made from 85% tumbleweed and 12.5% sawgrass (and 2.5% “other”).
The slang term ‘stogie’ came from the The Three Stooges. All the Stooges, even Shemp, were cigar afficionados and smoked only the best. Originally, a ‘stogie’ was a first-rate cigar like one of the Stooges would smoke. Later the term was applied to cigars in general.
[If Groucho Marx’ last name had been Stooge and he only had two brothers, I might have believed this one. :D]*
At the height of their popularity, The Three Stooges were asked to endorse and participate in advertising for King Charles cigars; the product was to be called, “The Three Stogies,” and each man would have his name and likeness plugging one of KC’s products. The three best would be marketed as one packaged unit. Everything was going according to plan when Ted Healy, the founder of the original vaudeville act, threatened litigation if not compensated. The product was dropped.
Ted Healy tried to create a troupe of female Stooges, they faded into history after
a grand total of 7 patrons saw their debut performance.
The seven patrons who were present when the Stoogettes took the stage were animal lovers there to see Healy’s German Shepherd. They were very upset to see women on the stage, and pelted them with dog biscuits.
They would never admit it, but The Three Stoogettes were Gloria Swanson, Bette Davis and Gloria (“Titanic”) Stuart.
Bette Davis was not a woman. Insiders realized she was actually Jimmy Cagney in drag.
In the original script of Cagney and Lacey the main characters were time traveling streetwalkers who escaped Jack the Ripper by falling into 1980s Manhattan. The pilot starred Judi Dench and Hermione Gingold, who was later found to have been dead during the entire filming.