INT THE CABIN LIVING ROOM
The camera circles the room rapidly.
SOMEONE
Guys, Hal Briston’s hardly even been here. Have you noticed?
SOMEONE ELSE
Yeah! Stubbornly silent, I’d call it.
HAL BRISTON
Actually, guys, I’ve been here a while.
SOMEONE
Seriously, what is up with Hal Briston? He never says a word.
HAL BRISTON
Again, I’m right here.
SOMEONE ELSE
You know what we should do, to get him to talk more? We should fucking kill him!
HAL BRISTON
Wait… what?
SOMEONE
I mean, he hasn’t even told us who he is!
HAL BRISTON
Well, I mean, actually, I did. I mean…
SOMEONE ELSE
Lynch the lurker!
HAL BRISTON
Fuck.
HAL sprints from the room, up the stairs. They follow, but HAL quickly loses them in the surprisingly labyrinthine second floor. He finds himself in an abandoned room, with only a small television, sitting alone on the floor under a nearby window.
HAL BRISTON
That’s strange. What is a television doing alone on the floor under a nearby window?
Suddenly, the television powers on of its own accord. HAL starts. Ominous music plays, as the channels flick by. At first, the images are benign. A few notes from American Idol. Iron Chef America, starring Bobby Flay; we hear Alton Brown say “the secret ingredient… is mutton.”
HAL BRISTON
Ah, screw you, invisible narrator.
Finally the television stops. It appears to be… yes… it is… American football. HAL’s eyes widen in horror as he realizes what he is seeing.
TV ANNOUNCER
Manning from his own 13… back to pass… under pressure… looks over the middle… intercepted by Asante Samuel!
HAL BRISTON
(Luke Skywalker)
Nooooooo!!!
In horror, HAL throws himself through the window, cutting his own throat.
Hal Briston, an Alpha Redshirt, has been lynched.
Your moderator apologizes for the above color; he is still working out some personal issues regarding the results of last weekend’s football games, and suspects the recently deceased, at least, will appreciate this.
Thus begins Night Five, which will end at 7:00PM on Friday evening.
Have fun!