Tuna in water, tuna in vinegar, tuna in tomato sauce? Yes, we’ve got tuna! Would you like some peanuts with your margarita?
F5…nope
F5…nada
F5…nothing…
Is it morning yet? I need to know when to quit drinking!
You quit in the mornings?
That is what flasks are for. Besides if you never stop being drunk, you never get hung over.
See I work over at the used chariot dealership off the main drag. Can’t risk getting a DUI while on the job and losing my sales license. BTW, anybody need a new chariot? We have several very nice pre-owned in stock. One and Two Horsepower. Very fuel efficient. Anybody?
Ohhh, I have been looking for a new chariot. I don’t know if I can afford one of the fancy 2 horsepower dealies though.
Honestly, does anyone really need that much horsepower?
Do you take trade in’s?
:eek: Are you calling me fat?
No. Fat floats. If you sink then you’re not fat.
Ooh, instead of dunking people we just need to measure their density. We can figure out mass with a simple scale, and measure volume by measuring displacement after submerging them under… oh wait.
Nevermind.
Oh yes, we take donkey carts, trebuchets, the occasional goat…whatever you have to trade, I can make you a deal. 
From here :
Alternatively, weigh them against a duck!
… what?
Right! So if she weighs the same as a duck, she’d float in water, and she must be made of wood, so…
–FCOD
sachertorte, Nairu doesn’t like it when you make fun of her Sacred Liquids. (the fat jokes are making fun of her Sacred Lipids, totally different)
Exactly!
Curse You, Mhaye!
–fcod
And just remember when you’re buying those chariots, to get your aftermarket rims and shoes from Zeriel’s. Because no other blacksmith even sells chromed horseshoes. Be the envy of the other illegal moonlight chariot racers!
Huh. If you post a message in all caps it changes the case…
Where the heck is BM? Since when did “shortly” mean “an hour and a half”???
–FCOD
Composing the start of a new Dawn is an Art! Art can’t be rushed!
HERETIC!
Ok, you have me hooked.
How much for the chromed horse shoes? Because my horse would look SWEET in chrome.
Let’s make with the Dawn already… I gotta go to work soon, unless I’ve been killed that is… in which case I have to go to work dead.
Chromed horseshoes = Medieval Bling Bling!
Sweet!