a roly poly walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink.
shortly there after the rolypoly falls off his barstool onto the bar and starts rolling around knocking over everyones drinks. so this guy finally gets up the nerve to say something to the bar tender and the bartender says…
fill in the punchline. I trust only comedy gold will come through this thread…
if this needs to be moved to MPSIMS or IMHO do it.
So the guy says to the bartender, “Can’t you get that insect out of here?!”, and the bartender looks at him and says,
“Hey, mister, are you ignorant or something? That’s a crustacean.”
Ok, so I got nothing.
“The Aristocrats!”
"and says to the Dung Beetle ‘May I push up your stool?’.
I don’t know about anyone else, but I think this might win the prize for comedy gold as far as punch lines go.
I loves me a good shaggy dog story.
(Kind of stupid, but all I got…):
Man: I thought you didn’t serve pill(bug)s in here!
Bartender: He’s all right, he’s over the counter!
oh ZANG!!! that is the comedy gold i am looking for!
ZANG?
:dubious:
Lao Zang. 6th century comic genius and author of The Art of Pun.
since I forgot.
the bartender says “I know that its a louse-y thing to do, but he’s a good guy when hes sober”
YOU ARE CORRECT SIR! HEY YOOOOOO
“take my wife…please”
“Don’t stop him; he’s on a roll!”
The bartender says,
“I can’t, he might flea without paying!”
“Don’t mind him, his sow left him for a silverfish.”
…and the roach in the corner says “Let’s take him out back and roll him”
So the barman sprays him with insecticide and says, “Let’s see you stiff me for another drink fuckwit.”
…and the bartender says, “look you ungrateful jerk, didn’t you hear him when he said ‘a round of drinks, on me!’”
Ok, oww. I think i just hurt something in my head.
“You can’t take a little pillbug rolling around? You better get outta here before sundown, when the nightcrawlers show up, then…”
“Well, if I kicked him out, I’d have to kick you out too. You’ve both knocked back too many drinks, neither of you are walking and I bet your head is spinning faster than his.”
or
“Sssh… I think the CIA might have bugged this bar.”