Make up some Monkey Haikus!

Time_Like_Tears · September 23, 2004, 1:35am

Walking in the Zoo
through the ape exhibit there
we all point and laugh

flying through the air
a bit of poo from on high
it hit my friend Mike

He was disgusted
he threw up over the fence
we all point and laugh

Mike had his revenge
a glob of barf in his hand
flung into the cage

The Keeper was mad
tossed us all out of the park
with a two year ban

the offending ape
turned to his buddy and said
“Folks should lighten up.”

Yeah yeah, I know, not such a great ending, but we DID once get tossed out of Zoo Atlanta for throwing things at the monkeys.

xenonymous · September 23, 2004, 1:38am

Monkey stole my pants
Once impish forest dweller
Now monkey skin rug

xenonymous · September 23, 2004, 1:47am

…and for all of us who fell short of our own high expectations:

Haiku for Monkey
Need not be all that clever
He can not read it

koeeoaddi · September 23, 2004, 4:04am

We monkeyed around?
No. We sang and cavorted.
(Real musicians played.)

Little_Nemo · September 23, 2004, 5:27am

Swinging in the trees
Eating bananas and grapes
Dreaming of Fay Wray

Play around for now
Have to get caught up later
Poo needs to get flung

Know what you’re thinking
It is just a banana
Screw you Sigmund Freud

We think they’re funny
But it’s an even exchange
They laugh at us too

CBCD · September 23, 2004, 10:13am

I see monkey butt
God’s grandeur in everything
Oh no, what is that?

CBCD · September 23, 2004, 1:15pm

Monkey extends paw
The Universe holds its breath
This flea is tasty!

CBCD · September 23, 2004, 1:17pm

Monkey, thy soul weeps
If I could save you, I would
Did you just fling *poo? *

CBCD · September 23, 2004, 3:03pm

An old monkey dreams
Far at sea the dolphin smiles
Clean up your dung heap!

CBCD · September 23, 2004, 3:23pm

The abyss beckons
Little monkey smiles at me
Where is the remote?
(Help me! Help me)

CBCD · September 23, 2004, 4:52pm

From Yahoo! News:Man Shoots Wife, Mistakes Her for Monkey

I’m sorry, I just can’t do it. Someone else will have the write the haiku on this one. I just can’t.

Hal_Briston · September 23, 2004, 5:31pm

Heck, not too much needs to be changed. The thing sorta writes itself.

A Malaysian man
went and shot and killed his wife
thought she was an ape.

The man, 70,
is being held by cops for
causing reckless death.

Little_Nemo · September 23, 2004, 5:33pm

Tragedy explained
If my late wife shaved her legs
She’d still be alive

Annie-Xmas · September 23, 2004, 5:57pm

Banana ice cream
With chocolate and walnuts
Oh, Chunky Monkey

Yeticus_Rex · September 23, 2004, 6:54pm

Out damn fruit monkey!
Blam! Blam! Crack! Crack! Thud! Oh, no!
Breakfast is ruined!

Shirley_Ujest · September 24, 2004, 12:33am

Bang the Cymbols Bang
Heartless Organ Grinder Boss
I fling poo at you!

Tork Mick Jones Nesmith
What Wacky Capers They Had.
Walk Funny on Beach.

NoPretentiousCodename · September 24, 2004, 5:20am

Why did we evolve?
To waste time writing about
what we evolved from?
(Again, I know we
don’t stem from monkeys per se.
So sue me agian.)
Bonobos hump and
hump and hump and hump and hump
and hump and then eat.
“Monkeys from the sea!”
I exclaimed, reading Boys Life.
Phooey. More like sea-fleas.

Annie-Xmas · September 24, 2004, 12:43pm

“We did not evolve.
God created everything.”
Fundy monkey speaks.

Wile_E · September 24, 2004, 12:53pm

Poor CBCD
Can’t stop monkeying around
Have a banana

CBCD · September 24, 2004, 1:00pm

I shall die of this
Monkey haikus steal my life
Little screeching souls