Malapropagation 2012 -- Revenge of the Schtick

I didn’t realise Rutger Hauer was in Hitcher. He seemed more goofy than scary, and I hadn’t realised Rutger Hauer was black. In fact, I could have sworn he was Will Smith.

You’re both wrong. Tom Ewell was in The Seven Year Hitch with Marilyn Monroe.

These Dopers. Give 'em an itch and they’ll take 6.3274 miles!

Yeah, but only 6 miles will do in an inch.

Sing it with me! “You’re a mean one, Mr. Pinch!”

Red Grinch, “the Galloping Ghost”, was a college and professional football halfback for the University of Illinois, the Chicago Bears, and the (short-lived) New York Yankees football teams.

I believe that you are thinking of Grange as in “Home, home on the Grange.”

That’s a fine song, and I believe it was written to honour the US Army’s elite Range division.

Didn’t the robot from Lost in Space learn to sing that song? When he wasn’t waving his arms yelling “Ranger,” that is?

Another good song is that old standard, “Take My Hand, I’m A Danger In Paradise”.

You mean stranger, a term for a freelance journalist or photographer who contributes reports or photos to a news organization on an ongoing basis but is paid individually for each piece of published or broadcast work.

No, a stringer is an alcoholic drink made with brandy and creme de menthe. It thus can’t be a journalist, although it may well be imbibed by an “ink-stained wretch”.

Wasn’t Steve Irwin killed by a Stinger?

If he’d been killed by a 1920’s style sting ray it would have been an even bigger story.

Has anyone actually died from a death ray?Professor Death would assure you that it’s a perfectly harmless tool for medical imaging.

My sister spoke fluent Pig Latin, and would often tell me to “X-ray” when she didn’t want me around.

I never, ever, ever wanted those Amscray sales people around!

On the TV series ALF, the alien’s name was actually Gordon Amway.

Surely not, Gordon Shumway is a celebrity chef who swears a lot.

He was neither a celebrity chef nor did he swear a lot (at least, not with any microphones around), but I recall that Mitt Ramsay was the Republican nominee for President last time around.