Okay, so here’s where you find out what a heel I am.
Just spoke with Stickboy, the SO. He told me that I need to start babying him more. “You know,” he says, “Make me feel special.”
Okay, so I’m probably not as good to him as I ought to be. I admit it.
So I beseech you, oh wise male dopers. What makes you feel special?
(and yeah, don’t bother with the sex stuff. that’s a given)
-Wearing a weasel as underpant.
-Hitting my head against the wall.
-Drinking Drain-O.
-Falling twelve stories and landing on a single thumbtack.
Oh, wait, you meant “special in a GOOD WAY”, right? Nevermind, then…
Well, my wife is an actress, and a few months ago she dedicated a show to me. That was pretty cool.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a guy wanting to be babied though. Can I ask how old you two are (or at least how old he is)? There’s a difference between being appreciated and being babied.
Appreciated and loved are different also. If the sex is a given, perhaps a bit of lovin’ is whats needed. Ask him what he means, talk about it. Remember that it should be reciprical.
Really? Who’s giving?
Geez. What makes me feel… um… special? I don’t even like to use that word in the same sentance with “me.”
Lie, and pretend you’re interested in what he has to say. Tell the chap he’d probably be a good dancer, if he weren’t too cool to dance. Tell him that you think he could kick Bruce Lee’s ass, and that you’re really attracted to his back hair. Share a beer with him, and tell him you think that his choice of Old Milwaukee goes perfectly with the pork rinds. Ask him if you think you should have your Geo Metro lowered. Have him tell you about the time he scored the winning goal for his seventh-grade water polo team. Tell him you’ve never seen anyone eat that much Yucateco habanero sauce in one sitting. Rip your shirt off, smoosh him into the couch, and slap his face with your boobies, yelling “sonogram! sonongram!”
Those things would make me feel, um, pretty good about myself. Especially the part with the boobies.
Let’s see…
DWD, I took “babying” to mean much the same thing you did - being appreciated. If it matters, I’m 27, he’s 31.
Booker, that’s my goal this weekend, to talk to him and find out what “special” means to him. I know what it means to me, but to each their own, right?
Good idea, Sofa King, I’ll keep that in mind. 
Maybe I should rephrase my query. What would be a cool thing that an SO would do for you that would let you know they were pretty keen on you? I’m looking for cool little things other than baking a batch of cookies or buying flowers and that kind of stuff.
Do you two live together? Or do you have access to his place when he’s not there? Write little notes around and hide them around the place. Tape a note to a milk carton in the fridge that says “I love you.” Tape a note to the bathroom mirror. Just think of about a dozen different little things and hide them. He may still find them a week or so later, and each one is a little reminder of how special he is to you. I did this to my GF once and she loved it, I don’t see why a guy wouldn’t appreciate it either.
Find out something he’s interested in and learn about it. This really made me feel good, when my GF, knowing what a baseball fanatic I am, memorized all the different major league teams, what league and divisions the teams were in, and who were known as the better players on the team. She did all that on her own, just to share my interest with me. I think that may have been the single sweetest thing I’ve ever had a GF do for me.
No offense, cupcake, but your ‘guy’ sounds kind of like a puss. Probably not his fault-guys today are way too touchy-feely.
‘Special’? What does he want, a makeover? You don’t make men feel ‘special’-that’s our job we do for you. Jeez, after his steak dinner, just bring him a toddy in a ‘special’ little black number-that’s enough for any man!
**Lucifer, quit being an ass.
Her guy’s not a puss for wanting to feel special.
You’d be surprised how many guys out there actually have some emotional bond with their spouses, not all of them are “emotionally stunted manly-men”.
Make him your slave for a night. He’ll love it.
Sorry about the bolding.
Yeah, what she said.
In my opinion, and isn’t that what this bit of the board is all about, feeling ‘special’ is mainly about acknowledgement. If he, say, builds ships in bottles (I doubt he does, but go with me) take note of how great his ships in bottles are. When he goes on to mention how he made the tiny knots in the rigging, agree and say “Wow, you’re right, those are some mighty fine knots in that there ship-in-bottle rigging.” Ok, you get the idea.
He says though that he wants to be ‘babied’. Aside from the sexual stuff, I assume he’s talking about things like serving him breakfast in bed or giving him a massage or… um… giving him a massage while he’s eating breakfast in bed served in a tiny bottle.
I don’t know how good I am at being babied, I guess
Well, this is all pretty subjective. What Mrs. Dave-Guy does to make me feel special might not do it for your guy, but here goes:
When she goes to the library, she picks up a book or two that she thinks I might enjoy. But she knows my taste, so it’s not as hard for her as it might be for you.
She’ll bring me something to drink or nosh on. Just because. No big deal, but it’s nice to have someone think of you and bring out a Pepsi when they come in to sit and watch TV.
Whether we’re sitting (or lying in bed) reading, or sitting together watching TV, she’ll often just hold my hand or rest her hand on my leg. The gentle contact is nice.
She’ll let me know she was thinking of me during the day. Or she’ll remind me on really hot days to take along some water to sip while I’m working.
These are small things, but they mean I’m special to her. If your SO wants to feel special by having you buy a tiger-striped crotchless teddy from “Le Sexxe Shoppe”, then I can’t help you there.
You better get more clarification before you embark on your quest, toots.
Take some time to genuinely think about and adore him.
Doing something cutsy/meaningful could be part of that, but that depends on you.
I like to find perfect pet names for people. Or books. Or professional quality photographs of some place/thing we enjoied together (a retroactive capture the moment). but its really an individual thing.
I once was floored by a present of a silver dagger. I like knives and love daggers, and he made one for me. Beyond that, he also had gotten me unaddicted to “cutting”. The dagger had a beautiful hilt and a steel blade, but was unsharpened, so even if I fell off the wagon I couldn’t hurt myself with his gift. It was touchingly perfect for a gift from him to me. It would be nearly meaningless outside the context of that relationship.
If my girlfriend did that, I’d flee. As quickly as possible.
To expand Cruncy Frog’s idea. Write a short note or love letter and mail it to him, even if you live in the same house. That always makes me feel like a million bucks.
Lucifer, go away, please?
Anyway. A friend I was talking to tonight says she wants me to call her all the time when she’s at school. I.e. she wants to hear my voice and have me there with her.
Indulge him. That’s all I can say to you.
If you think you know something you could do for him, that would make him feel special and appreciated, then by all means, do that.
But it’s kind of an unfair request on his part; it’s a vague goal, which only he knows how to reach. You may want to ask him to make you a list of things which you can do to make him feel special. Each person’s list is going to be different, and is going to include some unique stuff that nobody else could know. Maybe it’d make him incredibly happy to have you make coffee before you get him up in the morning. Maybe he’d like to be taken out to the movies, and bought dinner, and then taken someplace to make out. Or maybe those things would horrify him. Everybody’s different. And you can’t know him completely, unless you’re telepathic, in which case have you ever been to Vegas?
Ask him, nicely, to make you a list of things you can do for him. And give him a similar list; it’s great to have. “I really want to make my SO feel great this evening. What can I do? Oh yeah, the list… hmm… no lobsters on hand… but hey, I do have rope and vaseline, and MaryBeth next door has that French Maid outfit…”
Sorry, I’m a bit punchy this evening. Got mauled by a Power Ranger.
Blech, don’t talk to him about what makes him feel ‘special’. You should already know.
Just spend some time talking to him about whatever comes up. Or go do something with him.
I always appreciate it when Mrs. B plays frisbee with me, but I’d enjoy it more if she was a better actor.
But cookies are good. Yup, nothing says special like a batch of cookies.