This is one of those topics that is almost impossible to research on Google because 1) of the crap that people are trying to sell and 2) almost all articles reinforce the conventional wisdom (or perhaps scientifically verified trend) of male sex drive decreasing with age.
The thing is, I haven’t experienced that, and I’m about to have my 40th birthday.
Leaving a variety of TMI things aside, I feel that I have just as high a drive as I did in my 20s–perhaps higher–and have sex more. And I’ve always had a pretty high drive.
Surely I can’t be alone in this.
One thing I noticed… around age 37 my beard starting getting thicker and I got more body hair. My scientifically minded girlfriend at the time suggested that it might be the effect of testosterone over time. Yet, it did seem like a big change that happened rather rapidly.
I wonder if somehow I actually started having more testosterone instead of less. For the record, I have not taken any drugs or supplements that could affect me one way or the other in this regard.
I can assure you that it is normal for a male to continue to have good sex drive into his 50s, 60s and later. The only limit seems to health issues. Google “sex at 50” for details.
I don’t think that increased sexual urges are the norm. However, it is worth noting that men are often more relaxed as they mature into their 40s. They may have reached a comfortable plateau in their lives, where income is steady and debts are manageable. They are more experienced sexually and less likely to be nervous in their dealings with the other sex.
So, a lot of factors may converge towards making someone in his late 30s, early 40s, feel more sexy. I supect it’s what leads to the male menopause syndrome.
It’s the effect of Love that is growing in your heart and the heart of your g/f. You seem to have a very comparable partner for sex, that makes a great difference. The peaking of the sex drive may be more of a factor of dissatisfaction/ lack of love and the body losing interest a bit in sex as it’s not as fulfilling as it was meant to be, but when you find it everything comes back.
Testosterone fluctuates… It’s not the only hormone in play when it comes to male sex drive… and numerous factors affect male sex drive, not just hormones.
<House Mode on> Aren’t there some medical conditions that actually increase the production of testosterone? Perhaps you should mention this increase to your doctor, just to be sure your increased drive is due to comfortableness and experience, and not something to worry about. <House mode off>
I definitely have a much lower sex drive now, at 45, than I had at, say, 20. Maybe it isn’t true for everybody.
Also, when younger, the “rest” phase after an ejaculation was essentially non-existent (or maybe it was a whole 15 seconds of less firm erection during which I could went on to business). Nowadays, I wouldn’t even know how long it lasts because I don’t really feel like going at it again immediately anyway, while back then, non stop sex (why on earth would you want to stop?) was the way to go. In fact, when I think of it, nowadays a repeated ejaculation soon after the first one is slightly painful.
I can also forget about unwanted/unconvenient urges without much of an effort, a feat my 20 yo self would have been unable to achieve.
Finally, I don’t have anymore a gazillion erections/day, for almost no reason (briefly wandering mind) or no reason at all and can also survive without ejaculating at least a couple times/day.
YMMV, of course.
You’ve been doing your monthly testicular self-exams, right? Right? (40 is the upper age limit by the current recommendations, but men should be doing them from 20-40.)
Yes, there’s a remote chance that there’s something whacky with your hormones, from a tumor on the testes or adrenals or other causes, and if it occurs to you, you might mention it to your doc. But absent any other symptoms, I’m more inclined to think it’s just that you have an awesome partner and great sex life! Enjoy!
This is an old thread but …
I have had the same experience. I am 52, and my labido has grown to annoying levels.
It has nothing to do with my wife. Although she is fabulously attractive, her drive is decreasing. I do not think it is reduced stress because I am more stressed than ever. However, this stress originates from internal motivation. I am very well off financially and socially, but have a drive to start another business. I blame testosterone levels. I am also loosing weight.
In my 50’s normal was 3 or 4 times a week with the occasional marathon sex weekends. At 60 it was 2 or 3 times, now at 70 it is 1 or 2 times. More than 4 is actually a nuisance. The decline past about 40 has been slow but steady.
I don’t think we are any different in animals in that the sex drive hormones are generated by events in our life. When we are winning we want more sex, when we are loosing I think it may decline. If we are single I don’t think this would apply as much. Some of the biggest losers I know who are single are also sex addicts.
The best way to increase the libido of an aging male is to have their aging female partner suddenly hit her mid-life libido surge. Suddenly what was unthinkable to her becomes required. Repeatedly. For over two decades so far.
