Bah, back in my day you got 15 minutes and then they gave you a nickel for your troubles!
A nickel ! You could buy a car and years worth of groceries with that kind of scratch.
I always told my kids never to take candy from strangers unless he offered them a ride in his car.
There was a time when the touching went on for a full hour and you got absolution afterward as a freebie.
Is anyone here saying that a small child (two, three, four?) shouldn’t be accompanied into the bathroom? The issue is really that there is a point where apron strings need to initially stretch (yeah, I stood outside the men’s room when my son was five and six - and if he took too long yelled “is everything ok” - but that had more to do with my worry that perhaps he’d had explosive diarrhea than run into a molester) and eventually be cut (the ability to let them go into a public restroom while you remain at the dinner table). What age is that is going to vary by parent and by kid - a special needs kid may still need help in the bathroom as an adult - and an overprotective parent might stretch that stage longer than other parents (and a negligent parent may send their two year old in alone). But if you stand outside the bathroom door and yell “Timmy are you all right” and seventeen year old Timmy strolls out - I’m going to have serious questions about Timmy’s maturity and your ability to parent him into an independent adult - or about your relationship with your kids.
But interfering in someone else’s ability to use a public bathroom because your kid needs to be protected from the possibility that person is a pedophile is outside the scope of acceptable behavior at anytime. It infringes on someone else’s rights regarding their own bodily functions. Physically stopping someone from using a public bathroom would be assault.
Frankly, I look forward to the precedent-setting case where an adult tries to block another adult from accessing a public bathroom, in hopes that a rational judge will declare that there are limits to accommodating the paranoia of molestation-fearing parents.
Well, as stated previously, if I encountered an adult who was trying to prevent other people from going into a bathroom, my only thought would be whether I should instantly call mall security, or escalate straight to the real cops, because I can’t think of any good reasons for someone to be blocking people from getting into a bathroom. Like, what the hell is going on in there and why don’t you want anyone to know what it is?
Like I said before: Crazy.
Well, TruCelt is the nutbar who, in the “is this guy a stalker” thread, stated that women have “women’s intuition” and if it tells them that he’s a bad guy, she should take action.
Not just ignore the guy or walk away, but TAKE ACTION.
That combined with this shows that she has some serious (mental health) issues regarding men.
I am as well, as well as the case that will occur eventually when someone presses the matter and brings their 12 year old son who looks 15 into the ladies room. Either we need single sex restrooms, or we have to respect the gender segregation of restrooms once kids get to the age where gender segregation matters - which IMHO is around five or six - but you can stretch it a little past that.
I also always wonder why its Moms and sons. I have a nine year old daughter. Since she was four she’s been going into the ladies room alone when my husband has her out - the women in the ladies room can’t be expected to accomodate HIM, and it is reasonable to expect that the guys in a men’s room really don’t want little girls in there. It seems like a combination of sexism and homophobia to me.
Okay, I figured I could use a reality check after reading that. Since when are we talking about a 2-year-old?
So I read your original post, and noted that the kid’s age isn’t mentioned anywhere.
Forgive us if we didn’t assume that we were talking about a two-year-old. There is no occasion–none–in which you can’t go into the bathroom with your two-year-old, but she can go in alone. None. Why on earth would you bring up such a stupid hypothetical?
Either we’re talking about a kid old enough to go into the bathroom alone, in which case your guarding the door is absolutely out of bounds behavior toward other adults, or else we’re talking about a kid not old enough to go into the bathroom alone, in which case both your failure to go in with her (no excuses, no hypotheticals) is out of bounds, AND your guarding the door is out of bounds.
What happens if Vigilant Mommies start raising the ante by assigning their half-grown children to block access to the bathrooms while smaller siblings are in there? You’d have to be a monster to push past a child to gain entry.
The result would probably be a conviction for child assault with intent to commit molestation, resulting in a hefty prison sentence and having to share your cell with a massive guy with shaved head and Aryan Nation tattoos.
No, it’s far better if we all just adapt the advice quoted in the OP - everyone, adults included should relieve themselves before venturing out in public places, so we can avoid the horrors of public restrooms, including the hazards of disease which may be transmitted by paper towel litter.
“Officer, two 12 year old boys were blocking the entrance to the restroom in the movie theater. Frankly, I assumed that several of their friends were either beating the hell out of some other kid in the restroom, or that they were in there molesting a little girl. In either event, I wasn’t about to stand by and allow them to prevent me from entering. Given my size differential, I tried to simply push past them. Unfortunately, they were stupid enough to assault me in that process and I took defensive measures. I did not cause any permanent or major injuries and those boys should consider it a lesson learned.”
Two girls blocking the men’s room entrance? Same spiel, slightly different.
Seriously now? Probably nothing more than grabbing their arm or shoulder and pushing them out of the way. Perhaps shoving the door closed in their face if they’re female and try to follow me in.
An adult female follows me into the men’s room screaming at me? I’m calling the cops and pressing charges, ideally sexual offense charges. If she’s stupid enough to get into my face screaming in the men’s room, I’d do just what I’d do if it was a man - assume that I’m in physical danger and defend myself, as I’d clearly have no avenue of retreat.
Unfortunately, there’s something about movie theaters that means I have to piss as soon as I get out of the movie.
Just do it against the wall of the theatre when you leave. That way you won’t make any mommies nervous, and the bathroom will remain clean.
I brought Kid Kalhoun with me until he was about six, I guess. THen I let him go to the men’s room and I hung out til he was done. I instructed him on the way in to get 'er done and come right back out and don’t play with any machines (he was easily distracted). No big deal. People need to find other things to occupy their imaginations with.
There’s something about bookstores and libraries that inspire me to eliminate all bodily wastes. We’ve had threads about this before, and it seems that I’m not the only one who’s affected by these places.
I was at the movies last night, and when I went into the men’s room there was a weird biker looking guy with a huge, gray beard in there with 2 kids, a boy and a girl. I’m bad with kid ages, but probably less than 5 for each of them. They were by the sink area, which has a full view of the urinal area.
I had to just stand around until they left. Annoying.
Guess that means I should follow my daughters into the women’s room. Go to the women’s room, knock on the door and shout: Fire in the hole!
Which would, if I were a man, make me really nervous when she insisted on going into the men’s room with me because her son was in there and she wants to watch me pee to make sure I’m not going to hurt her sweet darling. I’d check her purse for scissors first.
The concept of “being molested in seconds” is intriguing to me. Trying to envision such an act, besides well as probably being illegal, is difficult. The perpetrator would have to look like a villain from a hana-barbara cartoon, complete with black cloak, pointy chin, and curled mustache. He would tiptoe in, slowly reach out his hand, strike like a cobra, and then disappear.
I think if that happened to me, I would feel more confused than defiled.
My husband was the main caregiver when our daughter was young. When she was in nappies I know he changed her in the car or in the local park. Once she was toilet trained (at just over 2) I think she probably went into the ladies by herself.
I can remember going swimming as a family he said to my son, “Off you go with Mum” for X to come with me to get changed for the pools. “Uh, no dearest - when we are all together you take him to the mens!”
Thats how ninjas do it.