It only comes once a year.
He’s sort of a connoisseur of fucking inanimate objects, I guess you could say.
The next time someone asks you to help blow up their raft, think of Edwin Tobergta and first check the nozzle carefully for debris.
Edwin is always emphatic
About his lust for objects pneumatic
The cops of the land,
Just don’t understand,
And treat him like some sort of fanatic.
Is his rubber duckie suing him for alienation of affections? 
I don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there.
He doesn’t look bright enough to strike up a conversation with a blow-up doll. The raft was probably more his intellectual equal.
At the risk of sounding like those awful people who ask “What do two women do together?” what exactly do you do with a raft? I’m assuming he was just masturbating on a raft, in which case, the issue is probably that he likes masturbating in public, as someone else said upthread, and he does need more than a prison sentence, or he’s not going to stop. Heck, he probably has a captive audience in prison.
Won’t someone think of the pneumatic?
Would he have benefited form counseling? Probably not. Unfortunately it’s not as simple as seeing a therapist and having all your problems fixed. It’s not like they have a magic wand, but society seems to think they do.
So the crime isn’t the actual sex, it’s having his dinghy out in public?
Are you suggesting there were a raft of such crimes?
Does this count as white water rafting? Do you need still a guide if you bring your own pole?
Notice what’s on his t-shirt?
I’m out of my mind
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