Years and years ago I asked out this girl. Casual aquaintance. Attractive, seemed nice. What the heck?
Not long into our first date I started in with the funny anecdotes. Some guys got chiselled features and a Phd.
I got my little stories.
Anyways, so I get my first big laugh. And oh what a laugh I got. Something between a metal rake on a chalkboard and a donkey with a head cold. (It was bad.)
By the end of the night I was going out of my way to be as somber and morose as possible, just to avoid any more laughter.
Otherwise, I had a very nice time. But I never called her again after that first date.
A decent laugh is that important to me.
Anyone else have any petty reasons they’ve ended a relationship, or never pursued a fledgling one?
I recently stopped seeing a girl because she would not **** it. Loved it when I did her, but she would not, absolutely not return the favor. Even in the shower. “I have a gag reflex”, she says.
I went back and forth trying to decide how to approach the problem, because she had been asking me to go out repeatedly for, uh, about nine months. And there were other things I didn’t like about her, just as there would be with anybody -but nothing really disastrous-, and we did like a lot of the same things, and had a lot of similar ideas about how we expexted to live and all, , , - but I finally decided after a few dates that I simply wouldn’t stay faithful to a woman who refused give me oral sex now and then, especially when she expected it from me. -And faithfulness and commitment and honesty were big things with her, she said. The last time she wanted to have sex, I refused to make any effort.
-She got mad anyway. -But she didn’t gag. - MC
Back when I was attending college I dated a girl who was very big into bowling. She went and bowled tournaments alot and did quite well. At that young, immature, adventurous stage I started thinking about my mental image of middle aged women bowlers. It wasn’t good. (Yeah, yeah I know) Anyway I broke up with her based on the fact I had never seen an attractive middle age female bowler.
I once broke up with a girl because she had “hammer thumbs.” She was otherwise a beautiful woman, but every time I saw those thumbs, it freaked me out. In hindsight, I was an enormous idiot, because she was a great woman.
An enormous idiot. I can’t say that enough.
I am also a freak about musical talent. Music is pretty important to me, and if a woman has no appreciation for music, or absolutely can’t carry a tune, I have to admit it’s a turn-off. I have never broken up with a woman solely for that reason, but will admit that it has been a factor before.
The most recent was Somewhat Dull Dan.
He didn’t like Eraserhead.
My favorite movie, since I was 12 years old.
After we watched it together, he said
“You want the truth?”
“Yes.”
“I didn’t like it”
I never saw him again after that night.
There’s more to it than that, but when people asked me about it, like my friend Janice:
“Hey, how’s you boy…Dan?”
“He didn’t like Eraserhead.”
“Oh, that’s too bad. He was cute, too.”
Then there was Boring Mike.
He was…Boring. So Boring that it was almost fascinating.
And Hamster Brain Guy.
Never mind about him.
And Asher, who insisted on wearing a flowy black skirt every single day.
This wasn’t the only thing, but there was one woman I dated who thought The Big Lebowski was a better movie than Fargo. In fact, it went beyond that: she didn’t like Fargo! I mean, have you ever?!
Then there was the one who was absolutely perfect for me: Same political views, same warped sense of humor, same appreciation for movies and comics and books. But…she really enjoyed sex with me, and I really did not enjoy sex with her. That’s it: that’s the whole reason I broke up with her. I know sexual compatibility is important, but I still feel like that was a petty thing for me to do. Discussion?
Thanks for starting this thread. You’re making me feel much less guilty about Jeff.
I invited him over for dinner once – eggplant and porcini mushroom pasta and salad. He said he’d never had eggplant before, which I thought was a little odd, but no big deal; at least he seemed open to expanding his horizons. Then, about halfway through dinner:
“Do you always put cabbage in your salad?”
“Cabbage?” I said. “This is lettuce.”
“Oh. But … it’s green!”
Yep. Twenty-eight years old and he had no idea there were other kinds of lettuce than iceberg. That, combined with the fact that the only reading material in his apartment was Penthouse, forced me to seriously rethink the relationship…
I once dated a guy who outright refused to pee in front of me. (I mention this in another thread) Although it wasn’t enough for me to dump him, and, in fact, he dumped me, but I made a promise to never date a man who can’t pee in front of me, so I think I could dump someone for that reason.
I stopped seeing this woman who was really wonderful. She was older than me (She still is)–by about 20-25 years. Smart as hell, cynical as I am, etc. etc. But she was LOUSY in bed. She did this thing with her tongue in my ear that just gave me the willies. So after a month of having to push her offa me, I just gave it up.
Many years ago, I was trying to break up with my girlfriend. She cried every time I tried. Except one time. She passed out on the street. I know that doesn’t go with the OP, but I thought it was kind of Seinfeldian. Or more Elainian. Or something.
What, exactly, did you not enjoy? Was she a screamer? Dead fish? Curious minds…
I once broke up with someone because he was so hairy. I mean, he had thick, dark coarse hair from the top of his head to his ankles. When he shaved his face, he had to go all the way down to his collar line. I was mostly okay with it – except for really hating to give him backrubs – until I accidentally took a peek in his shower. Looked like someone left a large cat on the drain! Eyyyeeewwwwwww.
It was shallow, I admit. But I’ve learned that once someone makes you sick, there’s no going back. You can become un-sick. Clearly, it’s not meant to be if little things bother you… like not enjoying sex with someone. (Ooo! I actually made it full circle!) Obviously there wasn’t enough of a connection somewhere, or the sex would have been more fun for you! And I would have enjoyed waxing my ex BF instead of cringing every time he took off his shirt.
It was only the first date, and I wasn’t sure I had heard correctly, so I set her up in the conversation to use “to see” in the past tense again, as in “saw”, and again she said “I seen that before”.
Incorrect usage of a common verb. I didn’t even bother trying to kiss her. It was already over.
I really like this thread, I know that more people can contribute…C’mon!
I just remembered…
There was once this guy who was very sweet most of the time, but instead of saying “bye”, whether it was on the phone or in person, to me or to ANYONE, he would instead say “BUH-bye!!”
Not only that, but his “BUH-Bye!” was always a couple octaves higher in pitch than his usual speaking voice.
It made me shudder inwardly every single time I heard it.
I broke up with a guy once because he was too nice. (Yes, I’m sorry, guys, but there is such a thing as being too nice. It’s called wishy-washy.)
I didn’t mind that he opened doors and held my chair and took my arm as we were walking. I liked that stuff. But after our first date, he gave me a dozen roses every Tuesday. Told me how beautiful I was every time he saw me. (Flowers and such are better when they don’t come at regular, pre-measured intervals.)
3 weeks after our first date, he told me he loved me. I said, “Oh.” and he didn’t seem to mind. He always let me choose the movie, tv show, radio station, restaurant, etc. He NEVER got mad or disagreed with me. I used to try and push it a litte, just to make him display a little temper or something. No dice. It was really kind of creepy.
Then one day he showed up wearing a 10 foot long striped scarf. That’s it, no coat, no gloves, just this insane red and white striped knitted scarf, that even when wound around his neck twice, still hung down to his feet in the front and back.
When I saw it I said, “What IS that thing?!” and he told me all about how his mom knitted it for him and he loved it so much and wore it every winter and blah blah blah. Just to see what he would do, I told him it was hideous, I hated it and wouldn’t be seen in public with it. Did he defend his precious mother and her knitting? NO. He took it off immediately, put it in the trunk of his car and didn’t say anything else.
The next time I saw him I told him it just wasn’t working out and I didn’t think we should see eachother anymore. His response? Immediate tears and “Well, my life is over now.” and he walked away, never to be heard from again.
I did see him in the mall about a year later. He was wearing the scarf.
Last year I dated a very attractive girl that I met through a mutual friend. She was very pleasant and easy going girl but she always seemed to be a little ill or have some type of problem she was graplling with. When we met we both had casts on our right legs… odd huh. She had just had surgery from a previous gymnastics injury (yup, she had been a gymnast!!) and I well… nevermind.
The sex was fantastic (she was a gymnast!!) and we got along great. After a month of seeing her she had missed several days of work using sick leave and she seemed constantly drained and tired. It was about then that I noticed that she never really drank water…
We would go out to the bars and we would drink beer or gin tonics, but she never really drank water. I asked her about this and she had told me that she didnt like to drink water…??? She said that once in a while she had to go to the emergency room and get rehydrated with an IV. (she was an emergency room receptionist). After this I was constantly watching her water intake and almost forcing her to drink Gatorade… to much for me. I had to bail and I felt horrible for doing it… but WOW what the hell do you do? She must have had some kind of hypochondria. I always fell horrible in those situations especially when I cant help the person.
Remember the smell from hell in the car? I think I dated the guy who put it there… BRIEFLY dated him… until the funk was overwhelming. Honestly, I had to throw things away because I couldn’t get the smell out!
This kinda goes back to that guys thing with a gal’s laugh.
I once dumped someone due to that fact that after they laughed, they would like do this recharge thing…she’d be all like “hhahaha…uhhhh” and “uhh” would be like a upwords cirshendo(sp?) starting from a note 2 octaves below her normal voice and worked its way up…twacked as hell…told her I was not looking for a relationship after all, then promptly went out with her friend.
