I just talked to my ex-girlfriend...

… the only girl I’ve ever truly fallen in love with, one I’d give anything for. We’d gone out for a year, then she broke up with me but stayed friends for a couple more years, during which time she explicitely and repeatedly said she’d never go out with me again. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore (especially after she got in a serious relationship with someone else) and we severed all contact. That was 3 years ago. A couple of months ago we started exchanging e-mail again. Well, I talked to her on the phone today and found out that not only has she been unattached for over a year, but that she’s had over a dozen dates through on-line personals in the past year. Even got quoted to that effect in a recent newspaper article about on-line dating, she says. So what would you do?

I know you guys are probably sick of stories like this, it’s nothing special, but it helps me to get it out of my system. Thanks for listening.

Ask her what sites she’s using and post your own ad.

Sounds like she is not ready for true love. Go on with your life. If it is to be it will and if it ain’t, you can’t make it be.

I’ve already found her ad, but what good would that do?

Maybe GusNSpot is right. She has no trouble getting dates, but “hasn’t found the right one yet.” One of the guys she met on-line flew across the country to meet her and later proposed to her, which she turned down.

I almost wish she’d just get marrid, that’ll force me to really go on with my life… (Though the cynical voice in me is saying “what life? you haven’t got one!”)

Okay, you’re available, she knows it, yet she is still searching for other men via the web.

scr4, the writing is on the wall. If you can’t handle the fact that you’re not the one for her then you should re-sever all contact with her. Wish her luck in finding Mr. Right and then mooooove on.

I’m not talking about finding her ad. I’m talking about you scoring yourself a few dates with other women.

What is the question?

Is it about Internet dating which has several hundred messages on the board already?

If you want to date her, ask her out.

There is no question, I thought this was MPSIMS? Sorry if I wasted your bandwidth, I’ll stop from now on.

This looks like a question.

Unless you think the recent email is an attempt to come back, I would cut her out of my life completely.

Find out if she’s interested. Be blunt about it. Don’t mess around with hidden messages and “reading between the lines”.

The quicker and cleaner the issue gets resolved, the better.

Thanks Bearflag70 et al., I can’t deny that that’s the best thing to do. It’d be easier if she didn’t mean so much as a friend - even after we broke up we were best friends for a couple of years. Still, not everything in life has a happy ending…

Hey! I’ve got an idea! Quit your job, leave Tokyo and come to Toronto to work for a small high tech company here.

Nah. That’d never happen. :wink:

Seriously, though, I think your comment about wishing she’d get married and becoming unavailable to you is most telling. Is there anything significantly different about the situation now that leads you to believe things will be better if you start seeing her again?

Good luck!