Incandescent: Things you’ve flushed down the toilet.
Mutation: How a kitten becomes a cat.
nonary: the opposite of what you think
Quark: That’s what people call Mark when he acts strange.
Asteroid: what you take to make your glutes bigger.
Gas Giant: I just had a huge bowl of BBQ beans at Sonny’s.
Circumference: One of King Arthur’s lesser-known, fatter knights; brother of Sir Not-Appearing-in-this-Film.
Tectonic: a chemical substance used to medicate computer help desk support staff.
Stochastic: Big box store supply chain.
Prismatic coefficient: Amount of crap you can store in your attic before it crashes into your second story bathroom.
Bipolare: see Compass
Dipolar: Death due to hypothermic exposure or being eaten by a polar bear.
Categorize: When Mr. Fluffy kills a bird rather messily.
Physics: TWO [The Princess Bride] Andrés the Giant.
Displacement: When you’ve had too much rum and can’t remember where you put your boat.
Psychology: Dahmer felt sleepy after he ate that last guy.
Oncology: The study of being by the phone when you’re not on shift.
Material Science: The study of living in a material world and becoming a material girl.
Bipolar Having been to the North and South Pole.
I called my cat Schrodinger’s cat because he only exists when he wants something.
Noble Gases…Nah, too easy.
Astronomy: the study of the Jetsons’ dog.
Spectrography: the price of the caveman’s eyeglasses
Refraction: getting ticketed again, for the same offense
Diffraction: 3/5. No, I really mean 7/13.