Mangle a term from the sciences

Okay, so with the change of hosts I finally stumbled across that old thread and was amazed and amused by the entries that I missed in the month it survived after I forgot about it.

And I had always planned (maybe even threatened) to create a corollary game thread for scientific terms so here ya go. Here’s the gist of the game:

So the idea here is to take a scientific term or idea and give it a funny definition. Go ahead, mangle and mispronounce it!

Fission: I do my fission at the lake; Jeb prefers deep sea fission.
Heisenberg’s Principle: Honestly, Skylar, I did this for the family! [I’m not sure how many will catch this joke.]

And, as I forgot to note in the instructions for the first one, context within a sentence is often helpful in delivering the joke.

Heavy water: That’s the bottle they skip when they’re making light beer.

I’m thinking we might stick to the hard sciences and applications (Physics, astronomy, chemistry, geology, engineering?) and then in a month or two (I promise!) I’ll start another of these for the life sciences (Biology, medicine, more chemistry I guess…).

And, as before, keep it light-hearted and remember it’s all in gest.

Your turn!

I think you probably need to start by looking up the definition of “hard sciences”.

Okay, in the spirit of the thread:
Soft sciences: subjects like biology that deal with squishy objects.

The periodic table of elements tells you whether chemistry is before or after lunch.

planets: small projects that team members manage to squeeze in between big programmes and master plans.

engineering: the approach of a locomotive

research: what you do when you still can’t find your keys

kryptonite: an evening spent enjoying substitution ciphers

electrolyte: Perhaps the most important of Edison’s inventions

black holes: parts of theorems that can neither be proved nor disproved.

Psychopath: The walk from the Bates Motel to Norman’s mother’s house.

linear combination: a typical meal you can fit on your tray at a cafeteria

molybdenum - what Molly B’s jean’s are made of

absolute alcohol: “Are you sure you’re not drinking dodgy booze?” “This is legit stuff, dude. Absolute alcohol.”

Homeostasis: when you’ve been parked in the same RV park for 20 years.

entropy: an entry you submit to multiple competitions

Absolute zero: that kid in your Cryogenics class that no one likes.

Guilty as charged, for sure.

Dark Matter: I don’t understand why they say scientists can’t figure it out. Y’know, it’s just that solid stuff that goes down the toilet.

Supercollider: When Clark Kent gets drunk and runs into walls.

paraffin: a new toy craze, which both kids and grownups use to impersonate sharks at the beach

Pipette - Pip’s daughter

Alkali - ‘I only had one beer, officer’

I’m sure I had some more ideas, but now they Argon.

I wish I had come up with that one. :slight_smile:

Geometry: What an acorn happily exclaims when it finally passes the sapling stage.

I’ll let myself out.

Subtraction: What the USS Nautilus needed to get going.