Mangle a term from the sciences

Prism: Where they put convicted feloms.

Atrophy: Guess what I got when my duckpin team came in first place?

Listeria: The panic attack that occurs when you realize you forgot your shopping list.

Recursive: Oh for fuck sake! How many fucking times have I fucking told you? That is not where you fucking put the fucking thing after you’re fucking done fucking around with it. Fuck!

You can say that again!
-BK Mandlebrot

Watt: You’ve got five minutes to get rid of that word.

Ricky Schroder’s cat

Does he have one, and if so, where is it?!

Bunsen Burner : you really ought to be watching where you sit

isotope: are you feeling ok? 'cause nobody looks like that

Erlenmeyer: there has to be a better way to get the wax out

Butterfly Effect: When you forgot your anniversary and then complain to your wife that the mashed potatoes are a little dry.

Angstrom: Extreme emo lifestyle.

phototropic somebody who loves to take pictures of tropes.

Momentum: The instant that you forget why exactly it was that you walked into that room.

Dirac: Where you put Descartes after shopping.

Ohm: I forgot my mantra; this will have to suffice.

Volume: A type of feather evolved for flight.

Coulomb: Played Frankenstein’s monster back in the ‘30s.

Forensics: 10.

Proctology - people who study assholes
Anthropology - assholes who study people

Bacteria - rear entrance to an unsanitary cafeteria

Physics: the study of carbonated beverages