Ahhh… time to share my story again!
I was supposed to be maid of honour for my friend, whom I’ve nicknamed Pam for the sake of anonimity. Pam sent me an email asking me if I could come on a shopping trip to look at bridesmaids dresses with her and the other girls on Saturday the 4th. She said she’d consulted with the other girls and it was good for both of them. Well, she hadn’t consulted with me, and it just so happened that Saturday the 4th was the one date for an entire month that I wasn’t free - I had a longstanding prior engagement with a friend who was visiting from overseas. I told Pam that I couldn’t make it on that date, and in reply I got a vicious email accusing me of trying to ruin her wedding, of refusing to do anything she asked and winding up demanding that I tell her straight if I wanted to be her bridesmaid because I “sure as hell” wasn’t acting like it.
I was so furious!
Number 1 - the only other thing I’d refused was when she asked me to grow my fingernails long for the wedding. I had told her I was prepared to have acrylic nails, but she said that wasn’t good enough and she wanted me to grow my own nails. I said no way, I hate having long nails and I thought it was a huge concession to offer to pay for and wear acrylic nails!
Number 2 - this was the very first outing that had ever been arranged - the accusation that I didn’t want to do anything she asked was unfair when we hadn’t even been asked to do anything yet!
Number 3 - It wasn’t a fitting, it was a shopping trip to look at bridesmaids dresses. There was more than 10 months to go before the wedding. She didn’t need me there, and she wasn’t pushed for time. She just wanted things her way.
Number 4 - If she had asked me to go any other day in that entire month, I could have gone. Only that one date was bad for me. She didn’t even ask what I had on, she just threw a tantrum.
We stopped talking for a fortnight, and then made up, but it ended our friendship just the same. I was never able to fully trust her again, and I know that she lied in her apology so I didn’t think she was really sorry - that and the fact that the lie she told was an insult in itself. There was more than that to it, but in the end this incident was too much for me to overlook when I was weighing up the balance of our friendship, and I haven’t spoken to her in over six months. I don’t care if I never see her again. I had never realised how deeply self-involved she was until her engagement, the subsequent wedding planning and finally the breakdown of her relationship - the shopping incident was merely the worst of many. Strangely, it seems that wedding planning brings out the worst in many brides.