Manservant Hecubus will kiss YOUR ass!

That’s right! Manservant Hecubus will kiss your ass, free of charge, right here, right now. Impossible, you say? No, not at all… Manservant Hecubus has been honing his ass-kissing skills for years, resulting in ass-kissery at it’s finest, all the while hoping and praying for an opportunity like this to arise where he could put all his hard work to good use.

Having a shitty day? Feeling blue? Have Manservant Hecubus lift your spirits with his praise! Feel like no one appreciates you? Manservant Hecubus will remind you why you are so very special.

Step up and have a go at it!

Well, you’ve heard me complain in chat enough to know what I need. Give it to me, baby. A nice ass-kissin’.

Count me in…pucker up Brian…


Oh, oh! Me next! ::unzips his pants:: :smiley:
Give me a good go around with those sexy Manservant Lips, Hickie

Yeah, I’m in. I’ll even wear a skirt to make it easier for you. :smiley:


K i s s

m y

a s s !!!

Now eat shit and die, you monkeyf*ck loser!

Come here, Bri hon…plant one right on me. :wink:


Smooch away Manservent Hecubus…anyone cool enough to use a KITH reference as a username …

What the hell, I haven’t had a good ass-kissing in …well, ever.

Pucker up, my friend :smiley:

<Getting in line>

I could use a good ass kissing. I’m ready whenever you are.

I have to admit, I’ve seen some good OP’s since I’ve been here, but this is by far the best!

Look at how well defined my task is! It couldn’t be clearer if it were made of glass. I’m speechless!

Not only this, but she’s a knockout as well. Oh yes, I’ve seen your picture on the people pages, you minx. What a rare jewel, and here on our board, blessing us all with her presence!

I dedicate all my further posts to Wicked Blue, and hope that each and every one shines half so bright as she does!

You know what to do.

I want a reach-around with mine…


If only I could give you what you need, I would be among the happiest men on the face of the earth. To touch your skin, to fluff your pillows at night, to supply you with and endless cache of batteries, what more could a man aspire for?

One night, I saw a feather float to the ground, and I watched motionless as it came to rest on autumn leaves. Every time I think of you, I recall that moment, as if your grage were descending to me, a husk of a man.

And,I would mow your lawn daily.

If Manservant Hecubus is whom I suspect he is, I’d like a little ass-kissing too!

Sign me up!

I’ve never known anyone is as much need of a good ass-kissing as myself right now.

fingers resting on zipper pull

Do you have a cheek preference? Or do you just want the one with the fewest blemishes?

Pucker up, Portnoy. My ass is in need of some smoochin’.

Odieman. You, sir, are godlike. When I need to smile, I always turn to you. Each and every one of your posts are a breath of fresh spring air in this stale winter of originality.

I sense that you are a crafty individual as well, able to mend broken items around the house with the most rudimentary of tools.

And, I’ve heard stories about you! A generous lover, indeed! Well, most of the ladies I’ve ehard from say that nobody compares to you.

In a world of Color Me Badd, you are Prince.

Nope, sorry Sue, I’m still Demo. :smiley:

Mercutio, if I were any man other than myself, I would be you.

I have NEVER seen anyone so quick witted before. Your ability to turn a conversation from a dull slow depressionfest into a riot of laughter goes unmatched.

He’s handsome as well, folks.

Merc, can I make you a sandwich, or something? Would you like a drink? You just name it, and I’ll see what I can do for you.

Merc is the man. Deal with it, lesser beings.