Maori marital/extramarital relationships

Factual Questions
1

Googling isn’t my friend.

I vaguely recall back in college hearing about Maori (or maybe it was Masai; I constantly get confused about these two groups) romantic relationships. The idea was that Maori male youths would be sexually initiated by older, married Maori women while their husbands were off hunting or at war; they didn’t really consider it to be cheating because the youths were not officially men yet. They still didn’t tell their husbands about it, though.

Has anyone ever heard of this, and if so, is this a reasonably accurate account of the practice, and if so, can you point me toward resources, offline or (preferably) online that expand on it?

Thanks!
Daniel

2

Might you be thinking of the Mangaia of Cook Island?

3

That question just makes me wonder if there is anything more hazardous to your health then nailing the wife of a Maori warrior while he’s away. I would suspect that this practice would have only lasted one generation.

4

Keep in mind that the Maori warriors were youths once, too :). According to my vague memory, there was something of a don’t ask, don’t tell attitude.

The Mangaia are fascinating–thanks for the link!–but I’m pretty sure that’s not what I was thinking of.

Daniel

5

My nephew spent a year in Kenya doing eye surgery at a little clinic in the middle of nowhere. He said a Masai man may establish a sexual relationship with a woman simply by planting his spear next to the door of her hut, if it’s all right with her.

You might think this cavalier approach to fidelity would lead to a lot of HIV transmission, but the Masai are relatively free of AIDS. The AIDS epidemic in Africa is largely spread by traffic between traveling men (truck drivers, etc.) and prostitutes, and the Masai don’t move around that much. They’re cattle ranchers.

6

This definately doesn’t refer to Maori!

7

Well, if you’re referring to my post, number 5, I was responding to the part of the OP that said, “I vaguely recall back in college hearing about Maori (or maybe it was Masai; I constantly get confused about these two groups) romantic relationships.”

I know very little about the Maori, except for that Haka thing they do.

8

Sorry, I was referring to the OP, should have been more clear :slight_smile:

9

Something tells me if it were considered normal for older women to teach younger men how to properly bring a woman to orgasm using only their tongue, the women of that society would do everything they could to ensure the practice continued to be considered normal.

Pacific Islanders have fascinating attitudes about sex & gender.

10

Hmm…I may have to eat crow in my psych101 class, a class that I’m taking only because my first time through school I somehow managed to avoid any psych courses but I’m not allowed to do so this time through, so I’m taking a class with a bunch of wet-behind-the-ears 18-year-olds and a professor who teaches down to them. She was talking about the natural human tendency for women to be attracted to men who hold social power and other such pop-psychology canards, setting them forward as gospel, and I, being ornery, interrupted her to talk about how that’s not a universal human tendency. I offered this anecdote as an example, but without evidence, I’ll probably need to retract it.

Yuck.

Daniel

11

“In a selected number of cases boys are coitally initiated by elder women, commonly widowed (Batak, Tswana, Mangaia, Kogi, Cagaba, Ica, Ibo, Korea, Santal, Ambrim), pregnant (Nigeria: Rukuba, Irigwe), “barren” (Kikuyu), divorced (Kanuri, Zuni, Santal) and prostituting women (Asaba Ibo, Lugbara, Burma, Iran, Mexico, Puerto Rico, Argentina, Nicaragua, Ecuador, India, Peru, Thailand, Morocco, Italy[73]), or some related or unrelated “older” women (ancient Japan, Ra’Ivavae, Cashinahua, Tupinamba, Xokleng, Basongye, Tiv, Siriono, Kaingángs, Canela, G/wi, Lepcha, western Tonga, Marquesans [?], Tongareva Island [Polynesia], Hawai’i). Wylie (1965:p296-7)[74] speculated on its occurrence in France, while Bleibtreu-Ehrenberg (1992:p25)[75] hints at its traditional occurrence in Germany.”

from http://www2.hu-berlin.de/sexology/GESUND/ARCHIV/GUS/GUSVOLIICH7.HTM
(possibly NSFW but from an academic treatise)

12

slightly closer to the original question and from the same text

“Among the Nigerian Rukuba, one type of marriage consists of ritual marriage of males before initiation, sometimes before puberty. The boy spends a night with a married, pregnant woman, who instructs him in sexual behaviour, and whom he is to avoid sexually in the future”

13

Thanks for the link, scm–it’s fascinating! And I found an aside that seems to buttress what I remember:

I did see a reference elsewhere suggesting that these mistresses were younger, but I’m not sure where it was.

Daniel

14

I’m part maori and I just have this to say:
“No comment” :D.
Seriously, I don’t think it is a Maori tradition.

15

I’m part-Maori also. Quite a substantial part, in fact, he said euphemistically, and all I can say is…

I wish!