** What would it take to make you leave the U.S.A. and renounce your citizenship?
Los Angeles in May **
** My Amazing Encounters with Jesus Christ
If one race is faster, more athletic, stronger in sports - what’s bad?**
Well, every time I race Jesus - running, swimming, whatever - I have him beat and then he suddenly materializes in front of me at the finish line. I’m getting tired of it, let me tell you.
Wood Stove
Gettin’ Rid of Old Books
Tiny errors that drive you insane
Gettin’ rid of old books
It’s “gettinG.” “GETTING!” With a G dammit! AAARRRGGGHHH!!!
** I broke the “Unbreakable Phone”
People with urine on their hands, touching their electronic devices **
I was gonna ask “How?”
Never mind
** Ham cake!
So, is there anything we’re allowed to put ketchup on?**
Would’ve been better reversed (the titles, not the ham cake), but you go to war with the threads you got, in the order you got them.
**What would it take to make you leave the U.S.A. and renounce your citizenship?
Lawrence of Arabia, the Nazis, Bobby Fischer, Rick Pitino, Donald Trump, and ISIS
**
I looked through the new Playboy
Improve any book with the addition of Zombies, Ninjas or Pirates
My Turn-offs include: Head shots, coordinated defenses, and unlimited ammo
My turn-ons include: panicky people, slow shuffling, and BRAAAAAAINS!
In reverse order:
New words we need.
Purim and shlach manos
(To a non-Jew, ‘Purim and shlach manos’ sounds like an exclamation. Like ‘Millennium hand and shrimp!’)
I’m so bored I’m…
Down with Algebra II!
** Flat earth theory. Serious question
How much damage could a crazy POTUS do?**
He could drive us RIGHT OFF THE EDGE OF THE EARTH!!! :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:
**Things that make you look old
I am not a fan of the term "white privilege” **
“Back in my day, we just called that ‘the American Way’! And those people knew their place! And America was great! And-- Hey, where are you going, you young whippersnapper…”
Puff the Magic Dragon
Casting the movie Let’s Get This Over With
Well, Puff would be CGI of course, but I think it would be funny to have Nicholas Cage voice him. As for Jackie Draper… I’m not up to speed on current child actors I’m afraid.
** Presidential primaries in Puerto Rico?
How to tell H. neanderthalensis from H. sapiens sapiens**
I’m pretty sure H. neanderthalensis is the one with the spray tan and funny hair.
** Caption this Chris Christie/Donal Trump photo
Anyone been to a snake-handling/drink poison church service?**
Beat me to it, that was a glaringly obvious (but good) one!
**Another “Was I a jerk?” thread
Bidet toilet seat or shower toilet
**
No, that shower wasn’t a toilet. Yes, you were a jerk.
Aviation: I recently experienced hypoxia.
The ultimate I hate my job moment.
Especially if you’re the pilot…
** Things that make you look old
Philosophical opinions on perspective **
“Please don’t tell me Hegel’s opinion on Vanishing Points – it adds twenty years to your image.”
** What has the Tea Party done for the “Little guy”?
Transgender Service Animals**
Well, it’s been a big help to the weird little guy.