To answer the OP - yep, that’s normal in my experience. After a few years I ain’t getting anything if I don’t ask for it and I’m probably not getting it then either. When we were dating (20 some odd years ago) I could expect a bJ every now and then, maybe even in some odd exciting place like the car or her parents living room (Yowza!) These days I may get a little action as forplay but the play itself is rare enough.
Pumpkin pie is my favorite dessert but I really like some chocloate cake every now and then also.
Yeah, I’d say a blow job is not foreplay, it’s the point of the encounter leading to climax. So there’s clear definitional differences there.
I’ve been with Lady Chance for 23 years now, married for 16, and I still get 'em regularly. If anything, they’re more frequent.
No snark intended, but do you? I only ask because the ‘blowjay while on the rag’ thing is common, or even just the ‘blowjob to completion, then go to bed,’ but a guy giving his girlfriend or wife oral or a handjob when she’s in the mood and he’s not, or when he’s feeling under the weather… not so much.
Because a really great blowjob is just about the best thing in the entire world. I don’t think it’s as much a matter of taste (though, of course, personal preferences differ) as I think it’s that many men simply never have gotten a really great blowjob. They don’t know how good it can be, so they don’t see the big deal.
Before I met my wife, I got some tremendous blowjobs. Deepthroat, ball-licking, cum-swallowing, grinning-and-looking-into-your-eyes-while-she-does-it blowjobs. I also got some awful blowjobs, where I had to make her stop because it was just a travesty. And, of course, there was everything in between. But, I’m telling you, if this girl I know named Micki had ever sucked your dick, you would understand.
Not married (yet) but we’ve been together for 8 years. I still give regular blow jobs. He gets full on, swallow BJ’s during my period (when I don’t want sex but want him to have some fun) and once or twice sometime during the month. I also give foreplay BJ’s about half the time the rest of the month.
I don’t love doing it, but I don’t mind horribly either.
Again, an interesting contrast with the Mrs, who if she is going to be up for any exotic practices (and you better figure that oral counts as exotic) will only be so while thoroughly aroused but pre-orgasmic. Once she’s got there, oral, anal or anything like that is right out the window, and I’ve got maybe a minute, two tops, to finish inside her or be relegated to an apathetic handjob with a side order of yawning, burping and maybe complaining that her arm is getting tired.
As to Cat Fight’s question about what she gets if she’s up for it and I’m not - I don’t believe the situation has ever arisen. Sometimes I’ve been told after the fact that she resorted to a few pages of Nancy Friday and her own fingers because she just wanted “relief without the hassle”; that’s the closest approach, and the tactful phrasing obviously cheers me no end. :dubious:
Oh, and the idea of giving me oral because she’s out of order but wants me to have some fun… 
Oh dear. In that case, I have just once in my life given a man a blow-job, and never to my SO’s. And here I was thinking I was a sex goddess. 
Well, yes, she prefers intercourse to giving me oral sex. I’m happy to oblige. Interpret that how you shall.
Well, I’m single, not married, but personally, I think you are missing out. I think it’s normal for you to want it. Quite a few women seem to go through a great deal of hormonal irregularities throughout their lifetime than men do, particularly after childbearing and all too, so it might possibly be physical, and she doesn’t have the desire for sex much more, and find the bj aspect even less appealing to her.
If she hasn’t done this for you in that long, then perhaps you need to please her orally first, and see if she reciprocates. Try this for several lovemaking sessions, and if she still isn’t receptive, you really need to talk to her about this and give her a chance. I think trust is the world’s greatest aphrodisiac, so just have some pillow talk sessions, possibly after love making; be understanding, and listen as well as talk. Tell her the things you like of what she does, and how you miss some other aspects, and ask her what can you do as well, to help please her more. I used to have a older gf who would occasionally do a bj for me as some kind of special treat, but gosh it was often months apart. That wasn’t why we split up, but other reasons not related to the bedroom. Finally found an Italian gf who thoroughly enjoyed it with just about every love making session, and gosh, what a difference the right kind of woman makes! Some women enjoy it a hell of a lot more than others!
I went and dug up a special poll done on a singles site because of your question, and I think you’ll appreciate that at least with this small sampling of 73 women voters, most women do enjoy it. Of course it being a singles site, I doubt any married women of 30 years participated in it, but it should give you some idea. Read the results and also the posts, it was both funny and educational for me. If you’ve managed 30 years with this same woman, I have a feelin’ you two can work this out. Enjoy the poll and thread and the best of luck to you.
Well, this is one of those mostly theoretical events…I can count on one hand the number of times (in 9 years) when she’s really in the mood and I’m not. Some of those times I’ve refused, to a bit of pouting – getting a taste of my own medicine there, I am. But as a rule, if she’s in the mood, that puts me in the mood, big-time.
Evidently it is in your house.
Why did you marry someone who didn’t really enjoy sucking your dick?
Stoid
Female
Absolute Favorite Form of Foreplay: Blowjobs.
THis is true but tricky. I loved giving blowjobs to my ex…in fact, that relationship was the only one where I’ve experienced having a wave of love come over me so strong when I looked at him…and my response to that wave of love was a desire to give him a blowjob. It was very organic and cool.
The tricky part was that giving him a blowjob turned me on so much that even though I didn’t start out with the intention of wanting sex, by the time he finished I tended to be insanely turned on, and what I wanted wasn’t an orgasm or oral sex, i wanted to have that delightful tool I had just had in my mouth inside me elsewhere.
It was kinda frustrating. But it never stopped me, because sex was great on all fronts and I would just enjoy the desire and carry it over to the next time, when he would make love to me in a manner that surpassed all men I have ever known.
Man…hard to believe we’ve been destroying each other in court for the past couple of years. Sad. (And I have had sex all of two whole times since August 2006. Now THAT is incredibly sad.)
LOL, my grandparents used to go to Spain almost every year for an anniversary trip. This was when they were not so young. I thought it was for the food.
I think I’ll go to Spain for my anniversary this year… do I need to bring my wife or just tell the people that I meet that it’s my anniversary?
Married 38 Years, still getting the full treatment with swallowing about once a week.
Maybe that has something to do with lasting 38 years? I am now feeling pity for a lot of husbands out there.
Of course she gets oral too, but its a tide you over kind of thing due to lack of time and stress of daily living. We don’t consider it a really good session unless she gets off 2-3 times before the “main event”.
Blow jobs we need 5-10 minutes, real sex is a 90 minute thing.
Wow, I could never get into sex with someone whose smell was disgusting to me. (And since I’ve become a non-smoker for the past ten years, I find the smell of a smoker profoundly repulsive. I am so grateful to the men who didn’t smoke and tolerated it in me…I never could have returned the favor.) It would kill every feeling of desire I might have. I admire your ability to overcome it.
How funny, I’m far LESS likely then.
Not weird, just you. (Although I wonder if you’ve ever had a really spectacular blow job.)
By the way, gentlemen: if any of you suffer from what my ex-ex (pre last ex) suffered from, you need to work on it: silence.
I reconnected with my ex from 25 years ago (that was the last of the two times I’ve had sex since August 2006) and I was reminded of something about him that made me nuts: he is dead silent when receiving a blow job. Throughout…until the orgasm. But prior to that, he could be asleep in terms of the sounds he makes.
Since he told me when he was done that it was still the best he’d ever had in his life, 30 years later, I know he wasn’t silent because he didn’t enjoy it.
But man, the no-feedback thing is maddening. Express yourself, even if it’s just groans and gasps…SOMETHING. It really reduces the fun if you are silent. And I know you know this because imagine a woman being silent? How would you like that?
(What’s funny about the ex-ex is how he got it wrong on the flip side during intercourse. He talks. And talks. And he talks in a tone that sounds like he’s ordering breakfast or discussing the weather, but he’s talking dirty. It’s very disconcerting, and a reminder of why I couldn’t go on with him…)
Actually, I’ve known of guys who have said it’s okay, but it’s more of a foreplay thing. That is, for them, why bother with doing it to completion when you can have intercourse.
Maybe it’s not her favorite thing, and since you don’t ask for it, she figures you don’t really care.
How the heck do you expect your wife to know you want it?