Flogging the dolphin.
Spanking the monkey.
Rubbing one out.
Having sex with myself.
Milking the bull.
Having a typical evening
Taming the bull
Manhandling the man-handle
(in the bath) - Polishing the lighthouse
(done subtly in public) - Pocket Billiards
Cavorting with madame palm and her five lovely daughters
Or from the pages of the profanisaurus:
- Crank - A simultaneous crap and wank for a guy with a very busy lifestyle
Plenty more, but can’t be bothered
This song seems strangely appropiate.
God damn! Are you tryig to say that every time someone posts ROTFLMAO, they’re actually…
Shaking hands with The President
Beating a dead horse
greasing the shaft
Pressure Release
I didn’t even make the connection when I posted that.
Here’s a new one:
Inspecting the MWD*
*Massive Weapon of Destruction
Working the one-eyed wonder worm
Buffing the beef
Launching the rocket
I think that anything of the form “verbing the noun” is either masturbating or smoking pot. goes to beware the Jabberwock
I don’t know about that. I wouldn’t want to “sandpaper the floor”.
Actually, the old canard that masturbation leads to mental problems comes from a misunderstanding of what it involves:
After all, people who masturbate are coming unscrewed!
groan
Stop that, Q.E.D., you’ll go blind!
Pulling the goalie.
Squeezing the tomato. Actually, I recall a song about “squeezing the tomato” from one of those “silly song” websites a couple of years ago. I’ll have to see if I can find it again and post a link.
Punishing Percy.
Rubbing Rob Reiner
Scholars of this subject might appreciate Roger’s Profanisaurus, which contains such beauties as:
Screwing the Screwdriver.
Slammin’ the ham.
Shaking hands with your best friend.
Strokin’ the shillelagh.
Drawing a map of Hawaii.
Buffing the bishop.