Over in the Favorite Euphism [sic] thread, I’ve seen many many references to “chokin’ ernie” or “male masturbation”. And it occurs to me that chicks really get the ‘shaft’ in regards to our masturbatory habits. Not very many cool names.
All that comes to mind for me is:
Glazin’ the donut
Hittin’ the speedbag
and
Tappin’ the can (made up by my friend for me because I always tap the top of my coke cans)
My personal favorites:
agitating the oyster
dialing “O” on the pink phone
make the kitty purr
bailing out the gravy boat
fingering the trigger
roughing up the chipmunk
After “the act” has been completed, I like to say something about cleanup on aisle V, since Astroglide (my fav juicy stuff) makes things a little slippery down there.
Well, I haven’t much personal experience in this area…but as a gay man (could I have less personal experience?) I do have a Lea Delaria recording from about 1992. In her stand-up act she used to do a Q&A bit called “Ms Delaria’s Dating Tips for Dykes:”
reading from card
"‘Jilling off? Patting the bunny? What do you call it when you masturbate?’
Hmmm… I call it, The End of the Day. Ahh! Ahhh! AHHH! snorkkkkkk…