Mayonnaise Combat Thread

Best Foods / Hellman’s versus Miracle Whip.

Do I have any takers?

Ever had a potato salad made with Miracle Whip?

PS: I will personally bribe the SDMS staff to delete all posts in favor of Miracle Whip.

I enjoy drinking mayonaise through a straw.

Mayonaise on french fries. MMMMMMMMMMMMM.

I refer you to my OP in this thread.

Damn! I thought this was going to be a naked mayonnaise wrestling contest…

Is it just me, or am I getting weirder?

I can’t eat any of it anymore. Makes me sick.

Hellmann’s or Best Foods (same thing). No other filth shall be kept in my home.

My kids prefer Miracle Whip, so their mother bought a jar and it still sits in the fridge. In the meantime, my Best Foods mysteriously disappears, even though my daughter claims “it’s nasty!”
I said the next time you guys want us to buy Miracle Whip for you, why don’t I just scoop out some mayo for you and just piss in it?
They were not thrilled.

As a Suthi’n boy, the only mayo is Dukes.

I was such a mayo lover that one of my favorite childhood foods was mayo sandwiches (slathered on thick), cut in half and soaked in chocolate milk.

When I first became aware of the “Guinness” folks of world records fame at 12 or so, I had fantasies of having my name entered as the world champeen mayo eater–straight outta the jar (seriously!). That’s how much I relished mayo.

speaking of which, does anyone know the dif between ‘dressing’ and mayo?

For sandwiches, I prefer mayo. I do, however, like to make my own (I use the yolks as well as the egg whites) for use on potatoes, when I’m out of sour cream.


P.S.: I loathe miracle whip. It’s too sweet!

I use mayo for everything but potato salad and BLT’s then I whip out the Miricle Whip. I’ve never had any complaints, just lots of complements. Mostly from people who never eat MWin their potato salad.Yum, now I’m hungry.

hellman’s for may, heinz for sald cream. Dressing is I think vinaigrette (sp??) - french dressing which is olive oil & vinegar & some seasoning…
I’m going to have to go buy some salad & pig out on dressing now & <sniff> it’s all your fault!

Mayonnaise all the way. I’m convinced they call Miracle Whip “salad dressing” to keep people from looking too closely at what it’s really made of. After all, Thousand Island dressing is just as scary a substance, and nobody questions it.

It all makes me gag. The sight, the smell, the texture (things that shouldn’t be liquid and things that shouldn’t be solid in some kind of greasy colloid), the oily-egg taste…gag, gag, gag, gag, gag.

My mom and brother are mayo-lovers - they spread it on hot-dogs.

I agree whole heartedly. Dukes is the king of mayos.

Well, it should have been obvious to me that, in this veritable forest of opinions, this thread had manifested before. By the way Satan I think that it is entirely appropriate that you should like Miracle Whip. What faster way to damn your soul to Hell than by eating such drivel.

It is especially gratifying to see the consistency with which almost all references to Miracle Whip are also accompanied by regurgitative noises.

Please try to remember that Kraft (can you say Velveeta?) is responsible for this axle grease. If you have ever tasted other Kraft products (i.e. salad dressings), you may have noticed that they are all oversweetened. I firmly believe that this is due to the use of sugar as a thickening agent as opposed to the more expensive alternative of adding real and appropriate ingredients.

I think that we should turn this into a Kraft (pronounced Krap in my home) products bashing thread. The one product of theirs that I buy is Claussen’s Dill Pickles and that is only because there aren’t any better ones out there.

Let us remember that Kraft is now in the pocket of one of the major tobacco companies and should be boycotted for that reason alone. I suppose that it is only fitting though. The cigarettes deaden your taste buds enough to where you can eat their products without going for the technicolor yawn.

Incidentally, anyone who has never eaten a peanut butter and mayo sanwich just hasn’t lived (in poverty that is). There are few foodstuffs that approach such a perfect ten in the “coronary on a plate” category.

Perhaps we should open up this thread to discussions on mustards as well. I will start by identifying the various ones in my fridge.

  1. Zatarain’s Creole Mustard (Outstanding coarse mustard)

  2. Coleman’s Hot English Mustard (There is no substitute)

  3. Morehouse Brown Deli Style (See accompanying recipe)

  4. French’s Yellow (For the sissies and special uses)
    Ever had those addictive little red hotdogs that are sold on every street corner throughout the entire country of Denmark? The mustard (Alpha Senap) is impossible to find in the USA and Arfmann’s is just too sweet. All you need to do is mix the Coleman’s with the Morehouse to get a reasonable facsimile thereof. Use the Coleman’s to adjust octane, and “voila”, the deed is done.

Keep those cards and letters coming.

Does anyone remember those TV commercials they used to have for Kraft recipes back in the '60’s & '70’s? “Creamy Fish Head Souffle,” “ToeJam ‘n’ Chive Dip,” “Cheesy Shrimp and Windex Casserole,” etc.-they put together some of the most heinous concoctions since Endora…did anyone actually cook up some of these recipes? Another thread perhaps?

Yeah, okay, Klaussen rocks, I’ll give 'em that…just don’t put it in a pie with whipped cream and lint.