I have no idea where you got such an odd notion. Mayo with dried ranch dressing would essentially just be ranch dressing (well, usually ranch has sour cream and/or buttermilk, but it still tastes like ranch to me when you mix powdered ranch mix with mayo.) And Miracle Whip tastes absolutely nothing like ranch, as already mentioned.
If you hate mayonnaise, ANY trouble or mess is too much. If you’re a big fan of the stuff, you’ll accept whatever extra organizing and cleaning it takes as “the cost of doing business”, so to speak.
And if you’re “on the fence” about whether mayo is a good invention or not, you’re probably going to just get a decent-looking jar from the store.
a. God Bless America!
b. There’s a battle going on in your mouth :(. May the best man win!
c. Papa!!
d. It’s a Miracle you got past the goalie, Duke!! 
Just got my Amazon order and my first impression of Dukes was a very oily flavor like taking a sip off of a Wesson bottle. It’s overall pretty good and I’ll still eat it but nowhere near Best Foods. I liked the Kewpie, it was different but good. My plan is to make a taste test party tray for my family for the day after Thanksgiving. Some small rolls, leftover turkey, a few different weird condiments. It’ll will be perfect for watching football.
I just got my Amazon order of Duke’s. I didn’t realize I was paying $5.39 for a thimble-full of mayo (I assume it’s cheaper at a B&M Walmart?).
Anyway, I agree it is what mayo should be. I am eating a pastrami sandwich right now with Duke’s on a brioche roll. Extremely tasty.
mmm
…and with that I kill the mayo thread?
mmm
I’ll pick it up!
Unwilling to pay $5.39 for mayonnaise, I braved Walmart one cold morning last week before it got busy, and was in and out with my Dukes ($3 and change) in less than 10 minutes. And I agree, I like it better than Hellmann’s. And now I’m doomed, because I either have to pay high dollar and get it from Amazon or continue to brave Walmart every couple months to re-supply.
I wonder if I can talk my local small-chain grocer into carrying it? Hmmmm…
I live in a very small town (population 5000) in rural Pennsylvania. The small independant grocery store carries Duke’s … so it must be pretty widely available.
It just means that it’s widely available in your area. It’s a regional food product.
It has to be Duke’s.
I shun thee.
I even put Duke’s on my hookers! 
I shun thee for Point 1. But you are correct on Point 2.
No comparison… Dukes.
Yay! I finally spotted some Duke’s at my local grocery today. So now I could have a more informed opinion about all these mayos.
So, my first impression of Duke’s was observing the texture of it. It’s a bit denser and creamier than Hellman’s. Reminded me a bit of the texture of Noosa yog[h]urt. First taste and mouthfeel impressions: denser than Hellman’s. First flavors of oils, no sweetness, then WHAM!!! acid on the end. Bit of egginess, but not overwhelmingly so.
It’s interesting. Both Hellman’s and Duke’s are made with soybean oil, but the soybean oil taste (which I’m not a huge fan of) comes out more in Duke’s. But after the initial taste, my objection to the soybean oil faded (perhaps with my mouth being recalibrated). I never thought of Hellman’s as “sweet” or even noticed it contained any sugar at all, but side-by-side with Duke’s, the difference is obvious. The Hellman’s acidity is definitely tempered a bit by the sugar. What’s weirdest for me is how delayed the reaction to the vinegar/sour component Duke’s is vs Hellman’s. With Hellman’s, I feel like I taste all the flavor components at the same time, while with Duke’s, there’s a moment where the creaminess of the oil and egg hits, and then the tang just punches through at the end. My first thoughts literally were “huh…this is bland … wait … what the hell was that?”
I haven’t tried them in sandwiches or salads yet, just plain, right on a spoon. But these are quite different mayos. Most commercial mayo I’ve had tastes similar to Hellman’s. I feel store brands, Kraft, Heinz, mayos are all in a similar ballpark of flavor. Kewpie and Duke’s are different enough to have different categories in my mind.
Glad I finally found this. Will keep experimenting and figuring out what I like it on and what I don’t.
Hellmans is the only dependable brand IMO. (Mayo outsells ketchup by a wide margin (probably because it’s used in making salad dressings in restaurants and for potato and macaroni salads). I’ve tried store brands with varying results, and different brands from other companies. Something made with olive oil, which was vile. I see all kinds of little jars of flavored mayo cropping up, though it’s easy enough to mix in your own favorite flavors. The Dollar Tree has little jars of Duke’s on the shelf every so often, and I like Duke’s a LOT, but it’s not sold here in regular grocery stores. So I grab it when I can, half a dozen little jars at a time.