Well let’s give this new-fangled posting schtick a shot, shall we?
People. Love them or hate them, you’ve got to meet them, whether you want to or not. Tis’ something I’ve always had trouble with, while others I’ve been introduced to can just go on out and start chatting. Given that meeting people has many advantages ( Girls, Friends, Employers, Girls, etc.) to go with its disadvantages, well, how does one do it? I just can’t seem to wrap my mind around the idea of just speaking to total strangers out of the blue. Granted, it doesn’t help that no-one in this silly town of mine has the same set of interests I do.
But really, what is it that goes through your head when you decide to initiate a conversation with someone you’ve never met before? (For social reasons, not because said stranger has parked in your den, or done something to annoy you, or to ask a quick question and leave) It… baffles me.
Welcome to the SDMB kivvik
I too find it difficult to meet people. I had plenty of friends growing up, but that is only because when you are younger it is easy to make friends and most friends are made accidentally (or not deliberately at least). Then I moved and lost them all.
Same thing happened to me as well. had only a few friends in the public school I went to, but made a bunch after moving to a more privatized school. But after graduation, we all got scattered across the state I’m back in my hometown now, and I don’t know anyone here anymore. Now I’m lonely, and want company, but everyone I’ve been introduced to has been into the same old crap: cars, drinking, country, and sports. Not that those are necessarily bad things, but they do not cause my ship to remain on the water’s surface, ya know? Still living at home with mommy doesn’t help much either
As a formerly shy, not-inclined-to-initiate-conversation person, I can tell you a few of the ways I met people.
I decided I wanted to learn to fly, so I joined a flying club to take lessons. I’ve long since lost track of those folks (it was 30 years ago) but for a while, they were my best buds.
I joined various choral groups - church choirs and community choruses, specifically. Music wasn’t an overriding obsession of mine, but I liked to sing and I got to meet people that way.
In a related vein, I’ve thought many times of joining a community theater group. I don’t want to act, but I thought it would be fun to work behind the scenes. Maybe someday…
I decided I wanted to learn to sail. Took lessons. Married the instructor. Lived happily ever after (20 years so far)
My point is that your best bet is to get out and do something. Explore things that you may have just a passing interest in learning. Broaden yourself. Volunteer. Just find something and get involved.
And do yourself a favor by not limiting yourself too much. And be interested in other people - really listen and ask questions. Try stuff - you just never know. It’s really not that difficult, once you decide to go for it.
Aye, I need something to broaden my interest and get me out of the house, but I don’t like singing, and have a kind of fear of heights… There’s just hardly anything in the town I’m in, our biggest attraction is a Wal-Mart. I’ve looked into the small skydiving service near here, but it’s too expensive Maybe I’ll just have to make do with virtual people until I can move away from here
i love people, but was never really good at talking to them… i think the best situations are the ones where nobody knows anyone. It’s really difficult to try and fit in with a group of people who already know eachother; i’ve been thrown into that many times, and i never was good at it! But coming into situations where everyone is new or strangers, you start out in the same place.
So yeah, that means doing things like beginners’ classes for anything that interests you, be it athletic, artistic, or something really out there. Or volunteering… you won’t meet many jerks at a volunteer site.
When I think about it, that is kinda true, Rose. After moving to a new school where hardly anyone knew anyone else, after about a month I had me a group of 6ish people I’d always be hanging out with. After getting a job and meeting several people for the first time, I was able to talk and joke with them. But I failed to click with my ex-girlfriend’s group of friends. I’ll probably start looking into classes or social groups after this winter deal is over with. I’m just someone who dislikes sports, cars, and beer in an area populated by a lot of stereotypical rednecks
I’ve looked into the small skydiving service near here, but it’s too expensive