This is excellent, excellent advice. You need to be firm with him about the fact that you have tolerated numerous incidents of unacceptable behavior from Elma in the interest of keeping the peace, but that your doing so is not an appropriate or sustainable long-term solution, so he needs to do something.
From what you’ve written in this thread, I suspect you are by nature an accomodating, non-confrontational person. If so, you’ll need to suppress your natural impulses while talking to the boss to make things easier for him. You want to lay out a firm, clear position and then wait for him to come up with a solution. He’ll probably first try to convince you that things aren’t actually that bad, or that everything will be better from now on, or that it’s better to just forget what happened and move on. Don’t take the bait – calmly stick to the position summarized by MaddyStrut. Compromise and ignoring the problem hasn’t fixed it so far, it’s only made it worse.
If the meeting ends with nothing resolved, that’s still better than before. He’ll have a harder time pretending everything is just fine if you don’t help him do so.
Sorry I haven’t checked in on this one, but I’ve been so busy lately. Anyway, here’s a quick update.
I had my meeting with the boss, and pretty much followed MaddyStrut’s suggestions, even though I hadn’t read the response yet. My boss explained his reasons for not immediatly firing her, and he made a lot of sense. His primary concern was written documentation about the event, that was going to go in her permanent file. At last knowledge, he was planning on giving her a letter summarizing what he said in the meeting with her, which was in effect “any more bullshit and you’re fired”.
Needless to say, since this happened, E. has been phoning it in. She’s definately not interested in being here and she won’t be much longer. Either she quits or her bitchy and lazy attitude of late gets her fired. I feel pretty good about the situation now, overall.
Thanks to everyone who offered advice and let me vent!
Glad to hear it’s working out reasonably and honorably, Rebekkah. I’ve been out of town on business for a while, but I wondered how your situation would play out. Your boss may be cautious about crossing the proverbial T’s and dotting the equally proverbial I’s but it sounds like he responded well.
Call me callous (Hey, callous!) but there’s a break-off point where even the most concerned employer can salvage/solve a bad employee. Elma has problems, quite obviously, but it sounds like he made an earnest attempt to accomodate them within the workplace.
In the end, it is just a workplace. That’s no small thing, especially since it’s so tied up with not only income but ego, self-worth, etc. as well. But employers AND co-workers can only adapt so far–and, realistically, solve/heal much less yet. Neither you nor your boss caused whatever demons are driving Elma, and neither one of you solve the core pathologies of Elma-ness. People fracture along unique lines but, unfortunately, those who brush along side them don’t have the means to heal them. Would that it were different…but it isn’t.
You and your boss have comported yourselves with honor AND compassion. That’s no small thing, Rebekkah.
Or goes on stress leave until benefits run out, and then sue your employer for wrongful or constructive dismissal. Either way, she should be out of your hair, if not necessarily the company’s.