Well Left_Hand has had problems it seems. I know I’m not the only one… Lol
Well, I’m female and 5’ 9" and there have been a lot of men who wouldn’t consider going out with me because I’d be taller than they if I wore anything other than ballet flats so height sensitivity can work both ways. Personally, I don’t give a shit one way or the other–I like being around really tall guys because it’s kinda fun to feel petite but it’s not like I require a “you must be THIS tall to ride” sign around my neck or anything.
There are also studies about how dating is harder for short men, but that data is mixed. I suspect it formed a small but not insignificant part of my sad single days way back when. Not crying over it or anything, but in a society where a fair number of women automatically rule out any dude shorter than them, it woulda been nice to have been taller.
Again, I am not fussing over this. But it’s not something that should be dismissed. Our society has a lot of fucked up body standards, and this is one among many.
My point… Let’s not make anyone feel ugly instead of saying, “Well people of your gender do it… So I’m going to do it to you.”
Some women do have such a sign. I have one friend who told me multiple times that she was sorry, but she’d never be attracted to me because I was so short. She told me this while we were hanging out with my girlfriend, so it was just weird, and I laughed along with her, but c’mon, not cool.
People get to be attracted to whoever they’re attracted to, obv. Acknowledging that our society privileges tall guys isn’t some sort of wacky observation, any more than it’s wacky to acknowledge that it privileges thin women.
Right on… And fuck body insensitivity of all stripes.
Well and that’s the thing–unless you’re actually IN BED with someone when you hear that criticism, what you’re actually hearing is a reaction to your behavior and/or demeanor because of course a casual acquaintance or stranger knows nothing about the size of your package. C’mon, we all know the “small dick energy” trope and what it’s describing–that obnoxious behavior a lot of men exhibit whenever they feel inadequate in some way and joking about how he must have a tiny package is just shorthand for “Man, that guy is a snotty jerk who just HAS to get the last word in and constantly cuts others down.” It’s a description of an attitude, has very little to do with actual physical realities. A good corollary is men sniffing that a woman obviously has “daddy issues.” They have zero idea about her actual relationship with her actual father, they’re describing a set of behaviors that now have that particular label.
That goes both ways, doesn’t it? If you know how harmful body shaming is, I would hope you’d try to avoid doing it to anyone else, to call it out when it happens, and to offer sympathy to anyone who does experience it.
I think that trope is insensitive… If it were a “small titty” trope, I’d be just as pissed.
I’d say it’s more like sneering that a woman must be “on the rag”. It’s a shitty gender stereotype used to demean and dismiss a person based on a wholly irrelevant intimate body fact that may or may not be true and is none of the sneerer’s fucking business anyway.
Except without the added patriarchy. Small-dick jokes are just shitty asshole behavior, not shitty asshole patriarchy behavior.
Most tropes ARE insensitive–I personally do not body shame anyone and will call it out if it’s done in my presence but I’m pointing out that getting cheesed off at individuals who are doing what they’ve been carefully taught from infancy is a mug’s game that will not result in any substantive change.
YES… I’ve openly defended women who got shit on for their body type. But I don’t hear it as much in the same way I do with men. Maybe it happens more than I know.
It’s all horse shit.
It does. A lot more.
Well, since we’re all raised in and soaking in a patriarchy I have to argue that all the gendered stereotypes and jokes are a result of living in a patriarchy. Small dick jokes are a way of punching up–just like the trope that says black men have bigger dicks was probably started way back in slavery times as a means to poke at “massa” when THAT repressed anger got to be too much and needed venting.
Sure, but getting cheesed off never effects change by itself. It’s what you do with the cheese that matters. But yeah: if someone wants to fight body shaming, this is like 5% of the fight.
Look… I don’t think this will change the world I just needed to rant. I’m also hear to learn.
It is not OK to body shame men.
That said, I am well aware that it goes on.
Telling people they shouldn’t talk about something that is bothering them does not in any way solve the problem, and often makes it worse.
Where, pray tell, SHOULD they “bring it up”? Seems to me an anonymous message board is one of the better options.
Unless the men who are starting to get it are the same as those who dished it out, this is bullshit.
It is not OK to punish people for things that different people did, just because those different people happen to share some characteristics.
When you benefit from a social system that relies on hierarchy any move toward equality and parity will often feel like oppression. Bummer, ain’t it?