I heard this just last week on the Selected Shorts podcast.
I honestly didn’t read what s/he wrote the way you’re seeing it. Where exactly did s/he say “you did this to us, so we can do it to you”?
Yes, it totally is. We can’t just have equity, the shoe has to go on the other foot for several hundred years. (sarcasm, see above)
Not until you’ve verified the deficient measurements of their goodies. Try to keep,up.
Btw, I didn’t intend this to be snarky or unfeeling. Just that pragmatically, we’re not going to be everybody’s cup of tea. For instance, I’m very short, and there may be some height that’s going to be a dealbreaker for me, too.
Not sure if that was a misplaced comma or on purpose. Either way, I lol’d.
Y
You caught me, dirty old lady that I am.
So, you’ve passed the wit and humor test.
I understand what you’re saying. It’s just that I can’t list my deal breakers without being called sexiest. (I’m not even going to list them here as I don’t want anyone to feel bad,) it seems to me to be a double standard, is it?
I suspect you meant sexist.
Yes, sorry.
Auto type is like that.
No, it’s not a double standard, it’s just as wrong no matter who does it. You just have better social skills than they do, and are probably a better human being in that regard. So it’s good for you to know right off which women are not worth investing your time.
And believe me, men do it too, a lot. Maybe more so.
Isn’t this whole pitting about if it is “sexist” or “sexiest” if you list your 9" “member” on Tinder?
I have no idea if that really happens on Tinder. I’ve been married for way too long. I just saw a skit on SNL that mentioned it as the dating app the meme’d uncle uses.
I know the feeling. I’ve been with the same guy for 18 years*, yet I try to pontificate about whatever the cool kids are doing these days. The internet dating world seems like a horror to me - I’ve heard so many stories of women getting harassed online, shamed for their weight by anonymous randos, and generally being treated like shit, I can’t fathom why anybody would do it voluntarily. But I have no idea what it’s like for men, other than apparently being shot down because of their height.
*He’s short BTW
The problem is thinking that there’s something to compensate FOR. As if a small penis is automatically a problem. It’s not. Neither is being short. One of the most desirable and lovable guys I know is only about 5’2". But if we were both single, I’d go after him in a minute. He’s just so much my type in so many ways.
Well, we all know what they’re REALLY compensating for and that would be a lack of intelligence, emotional IQ, empathy, knowledge of the world and a fucking heart but none of those things are considered to be essential to a certain type of man but we do know that being “manly” and having a giant pants python (or being perceived to have one) IS very important to a certain type of man so in order to make the insult sting you have to get it close to THEIR perception, not yours. So you wiggle your flaccid pinky at them as shorthand to let them know they’re the kind of man you wouldn’t let within shouting distance of your privates then go merrily on your way. Preferably without being shot in the head but one never does know about those certain types, does one?
I’m tall, I tend to favor men taller than I. On the other hand, when I’ve dated women I like them petite. Except when I don’t. I had a friend with benefits type who had gotten on the wrong side of a bomb down in a tunnel in Vietnam–if you know anything about what it took to be a successful “tunnel rat” in that war you know that basketball players were right out. He was about six inches shorter than I, had been pieced together so badly that many things didn’t work, including his dick and he was determinedly killing himself via alcohol–but he was kind, and funny, and very good in the sack and we liked each other very well but knew that was a relationship that had zero future. I hope he survived and healed but he kinda dropped out and disappeared so I suspect he didn’t. He was not my ideal man, but we suited each other for a time and that’s about as much as you can expect in this world, really.
What an interesting story. Thanks for sharing. Did he die because of the alcohol?
My Aunt, who is about 5’7" and someone I consider pretty picky about appearances, once had a crush on a little person she worked with (as in, a man with dwarfism.) The right guy can blow past any list of preferences.
But when you’re in a superficial arena like the online dating world, you’re likely to be filtered out without being given a chance.
I honestly don’t know. We drifted apart because drunks are kind of a dealbreaker for me and I had young kids at the time but was between relationships so we just got together when the kids were at their dad’s and as it suited us. He had a lot of mental problems, some probably due to undiagnosed closed brain trauma and PTSD and he just kinda…disappeared or ghosted and nobody knew where the heck he was. This was back in the day when being instantly available wasn’t a thing and the internet barely a gleam in a DARPA engineer’s eye. Nobody ever heard from him again, probably just another in the thousands of uncounted Vietnam war casualties.
This, right here.
I’m relatively tall at just shy of 5’9”. My first fiancé was 6’6”, looked like a muscular Viking. My daughter’s dad was 6’2”, thin but wiry.
Saying that, the one relationship I regret losing was with a man who was 5’6”, thick, had multiple surgeries that didn’t quite correct severe scoliosis, leaving him with a hitch in his giddyup.
I still miss him.
I think we all have physical ideals, realistic or not. Is it okay to state our preferences? Of course. Denigrating someone based solely on their physical form is not. If someone is superficial enough to reject a person solely on their height, would you really want to be with them?