The second sentence here chilled me. It’s possibly the most callous thing I’ve ever heard from a (presumably) happily married person.
That’s all. Move along. :eek:
It may or may not be sexist, but in my experience men are quite a bit less likely to see the doctor then women. I talk to thousands of people a year about their health care and men are far likelier to say that they never or seldom go to the doctor.
What’s the alternative? What are you supposed to do then, force them to the doctor’s office at the point of a gun? “Take care of yourself or I’ll kill you?” (Okay, the thought did cross my mind. But only out of exasperation.)
People are responsible for what they do. And what they don’t do. You can ask people, you can tell people. For the most part nagging or pleading or other desperate measures just engender ill will because you are presumably talking to a rational adult who makes decisions for themselves.
If they don’t want to take care of themselves what can you do? What SHOULD you do? These men are not our babies and they shouldn’t be treated like they are.
Absolutely. And I’m sorry to hear your story.
My husband is a weenie who won’t make his own appointments. Most of the doctors’ offices I talk to say that most of their male patients won’t make their own appointments. There are no words.
TubaDiva, my condolences on your loss.
I agree. They’re not stupid. Anyone who watches an hour’s worth of news in any given week knows what the risks are, what the tests consist of, and whether or not they would benefit from an exam. If a person chooses not to, oh well. None of us does everything we can to maintain perfect health. I’m certainly not going to ride someone’s ass over medical care. I did sort of give my dad crap about his colonoscopy, but just a couple times. He’s a grown man and free to live probe-free if that’s what he chooses.
An IUD would solve this problem for a few years, though you’d have one less thing to whine about.
I don’t trust 'em.
From what I understand, it’s one of those “can, but might not, lie dormant for years until something, nobody’s quite sure what, triggers it and it starts distorting cells” viruses. And smears are testing for the presence of the distorted cells, not the presence of the virus.
If you make this your sig line I will give you a dollar.
I don’t think - IMHO - that a finger up the butt is enough to warrant putting your life on the line. I also just had my first colonoscopy, where they found polyps - I had my colonoscopy early (I think its recommended at 50), but I was having some lower abdominal problems and have a family history pf polyps - both colon, endometrial, and stomach, so we wanted to rule out the area as a source of the main trouble. Luckily they found the polyp, it was cancerous, but they say I should have another C in 2 years and just keep it in my med files with all my other docs and not to worry.
You know, men (hetero men, mostly, I think - and that’s only my opinion) have such s fear about ANYTHING up their butt making them somehow more effeminate or “gay”. Isn’t it sad a stigma like that could potentially put your life in jeopardy?
I feel bad for those men who say “nothin’ up my butt”. It’s just a finger, there’s nothing sexual about it, and it’s over in a minute. And could save you TONS of trouble.
Good luck all -
Inky
It’s not callous, it’s respect (perhaps gruding respect). At some point you just have to admit that you can’t make people’s decisions for them.
And mine as well. I didn’t know one thing about this–was it announced?
No, and I didn’t mean for it to be even if I had the presence of mind to do so at the time which I did not.
I appreciate your good words, though. This is a story I’d just as soon no one has to tell themselves and that’s why I told it. If this gets one person to thinking about those they will leave behind and they act in the best interests of those people, then this was worth it. Our time together is short enough as it is; whatever you can do for more days, that is really precious. You don’t know it until there are no more.
None of this is easy. I can’t imagine anything harder than overcoming a phobia or a fear, facing something you have perhaps dreaded your entire life, didn’t want to do, no way, no how.
Well yes, I can. Letting go of people that you love is the hardest, no doubt about it.
Jenny
Just as a factoid in the female prostate thing, apparently there’s been evidence to suggest that the female paraurethral (Skene’s) glands are the female equivalent to the prostate. Not sure how it maps with regard to physical examination, however.
Can’t quite find a cite at the moment but I seem to remember there was a similarity in male/female incidence of breast cancer and prostate cancer i.e. Men make up 5% of breast cancer cases and women make up 5% of prostate/paraurethral cases. That made this article kind of interesting to me, though a little much for my casual interest.
OK. So, my husband has pretty high cholesterol. His father had four brothers who died of artery disease before the age of 50. His father had two bypass surgeries and lived to be 75 by taking tons of medications. My husband doesn’t go to the doctor regularly and doesn’t watch his diet. Am I supposed to nag him every day about his diet and how he should go to the doctor? He knows the risks, he is an adult and free to manage or mismanage his health as much as he wants. If there is a health topic I think he hasn’t heard of that might apply to him I bring it to his attention and he can do what he wants with the information.
From personal experience nagging just leads to resistance and crabbiness. I used to nag and he did nothing. I stopped nagging and he is starting to take interest in his own health.
If I went more than a year between mammograms or pap smears and he walked around wearing something to remind me to do it I would not be happy or inclined to make an appointment right away. I am an adult and I will make my own health decisions.
Oh yeah… I’m overweight and possibly borderline diabetic and just ate a huge bowl of ice cream. I guess my husband doesn’t love me because he saw me do it and didn’t say anything.
We all do plenty of things that will reduce our lifespans and we usually know it and that’s how it is.
You might find it chilling but I have decided to accept that other adults have free will to do things I don’t approve of.
Hi. Not ducking, just not online since I OP’d this.
I’m 43. Had a recent full physical including all tests. Not a colonoscopy yet- I asked. The Dr. said wait till I’m 45, unless blood work indicates necessity. I trust the guy.
I checked the CNN Transcripts web page and cannot find the little interview. I suspect that since it was done live, and not a packaged taped event that they repeated, I cannot find a transcript of it. So, feel free as one poster did to say I never heard any of it. I don’t really care. I know that I heard several stories last week with the same theme, and quoted the one in my OP as accurately as I could recall. I will keep looking for cite, ok?
Cartooniverse
They do? 
This ought to be good.
As a man, I can tell you this is true, and I have 2 observations on this.
- I work 60 hours week. My wife works 35 hours a week. She wonders why I don’t go to the doctor as much as she does. Hmmmm, I wonder. If the doctor closed at 8PM instead of 4PM then I might go more often.
- I feel fine, and I am not constantly barraged by ribbon-wearing people shrieking that I’d better get checked for this and that.
I check my own blood pressure and heart rate at the pharmacy with that little machine. I check my bodily products to make sure they aren’t turning unseemly colors. I look at my moles and whatnot. I feel OK and I do not live in the a constant panic about my innards suddenly falling out. I will go to a doctor if any of the above conditions are violated.
Well, I suppose I can’t argue with your complete lack of logic, there.