Another +1.
AFAICT, there’s also an unwritten rule that says that if you and someone with big, awkward, or heavy packages are about to go through a door, you open and hold the door for the person with the packages. The person with the packages is obliged to say “thank you” and help the next person in their position.
This rule applies to everyone, regardless of gender.
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I hold doors for people, people hold doors for me. I wish people would stop trying to politicize everything.
???
Am I missing something?
Hmm. Earlier today a woman entering the stairwell where I was climbing to her floor was scrambling to hold the door for me, didn’t look where she was going and knocked over a sandwich-type warning sign that someone had thoughtfully placed there, nearly sending herself sprawling. I was not offended. It was good entertainment.
The only thing that “offends” me about people holding the door, male or female, is when I am so far from the door that I feel I should hustle over so I don’t hold them up (reiterating what RobDog said). Just let the door go. I will summon the strength to reopen it.
I usually blow my rape whistle and run away in a James Bond-esque cloud of pepper spray. I can let myself in later and keep my sexual obligations all to myself.
I know it’s well meant, but don’t do this. Just say “thanks” and walk through. She’s holding the door for you, let her. Insisting on taking the door away from her is somewhere between silly, weird, and mildly chauvinistic.
I personally find it ridiculous and annoying when men seem to feel a need to take back the door (though I’ll probably just say “thanks” and walk through).
I have never figured out just why doors prevent people from entering or leaving a building. Can’t you just open the door yourself? Is that so hard? Never have I thought, “if only that building didn’t have a door, I would be inside, but since it doesn’t, I guess I’ll never get in unless someone smarter than me opens it first.”
So I would be glad to open a door for someone else, but I have no interest in having someone open a door for me.
And if my hands are full or I am in a wheelchair, all I have to do is press the button with my elbow, foot or butt and the door opens by itself. At least for all the buildings I need to enter.
Pábitel & outlierrn, I would fully agree except that I grew up in the '70s when it, as well as a bunch of other courtesy things done by men for women, became highly politicized. So through the mid to late '70s things like this were an issue with lots of newspaper columns, or hearing my dad and his friends gripe about how they got shit from women because they held doors open for them. I was in high school at the time so it’s not something I ever was exposed to so all the stuff I heard could have been apocryphal, but it was “out there”.
Having grown up during that period, and definitely agreeing with the societal/gender changes, I made the decision that I would never do anything for a woman that I wouldn’t do for anyone else.
I have no problem with anyone holding a door for me.
I like it when anyone holds open the door for me. I especially like it if it is a young person (teenager) - refreshing to see respect for other people. I complement the parents on what a good kid they have if they are nearby.
I also hold the door open for other people.
What I DON’T like is when I hold the door open for someone, then they don’t bother to say thank you. This seems to be happening more often these days.
I think any kind of smile or nod, any acknowledgement, is sufficient.
This is the answer, right here!
Right! It is when they do none of the above that I think it is rude.
How can I really tell if it is a woman holding the door for me? Maybe it is a transgendered person with old habits.
Please define woman. Do I need to interview them about their gender identity?
100 meters away? You regularly have people hold doors open for you from a football field distance away? A 10 second Olympic sprint away? At a average walking speed of 1.3 meters per second you’re more than a minute away.
I’ve noticed that men in general will hold the door for anybody, male or female. Women on the other hand will sometimes hold the door but is not unusual for them to rudely let it slam shut. IMHO, everybody should be holding doors.
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I will admit that maybe my family is a little strange but ---- our general rule is whoever is first at the door, no matter the gender or relationship, holds the door for those following. Which means sometimes we stand there a bit until someone signals us through (in a crowd/mad rush for the door) but its just how we do things. Same goes if we get to the door first when other people are leaving; we’ll stop and let them out before entering.
I am extremely large man and am often mistakenly perceived as being much closer than I actually am, like a pedant in a rearview mirror for example.
Guy here. I can’t remember the last time any woman held a door for me (not a poll choice–I don’t know why the choice excepts relatives). In fact about once a month a woman in front of me with the door opening out in the direction of travel will let a door close right in my face. IME men usually look over their shoulder to see if there is anyone behind them (male or female) to hold the door for; women seldom do this.
I think it’s common courtesy for one person to hold a door for the person behind them, regardless of gender.
Unless you are talking about opening a door and standing aside while the other person walks through? That is traditionally a gesture offered by men to women and I have never seen this happen with a woman holding a door open for an adult man to walk through.
I feel great. I assume anytime a woman does anything even remotely polite she is signaling to me that she wants to have sex, which I respond to by making extended eye contact while giving her the full body once over. So far I have only been banned from 5 restaurants.
How are we defining holding the door for someone? Do we mean someone going through and holding it for the person behind them, or holding the door to let one or more people go through first (from the same side)?
The former is just common courtesy, and it isn’t remarkable when a woman does it.
For the latter, it seems a bit unusual when a woman does it. In my experience, it has a playful element to it, as though it were accompanied by an unspoken “Allow me to get the door for you, gentle sir.”. I don’t find it offensive, I find it amusing.