I am reminded by another thread that our OP is not an American. Human nature is the same worldwide, but human nurture and human culture are not.
Perhaps some of our (including my) confidence in our diagnoses and prescriptions is missing something in translation from wherever they are from.
Fwiw, i know several American women who are older, perhaps previously married, some have kids, who are dating to find a companion but not a life partner. They want someone who can share a good meal or a good show or maybe even a good cruise, someone they enjoy sex with. But they don’t want to live with him or make long-term promises.
Some of them have fallen in love and ended to in serious relationships. But it’s not their goal. (And it mostly hasn’t worked out well when it happens.)
I am latterly a convert to the same companion not cohabit program.
Unsure how that’ll work, especially if I’m wanting e.g. 4 days a week min and they want 2 per week max. Or vice versa. Mutual exclusivity would seem incompatible w that. Somebody’s parameters won’t be fully fulfilled as a matter of logic.
I kind of want this too, as a man.
I think the long term durability of these relationships is lower than cohabitating situations. Though I don’t know that those statistics would match up for people that are older.
Obviously it’s up to the individual person whether or not they want a relationship, but I kind of understand what people (I don’t think so it’s a men or women thing) are getting at when they say modern dating is tough. I mean, one night stands are fine, casual flings are fine, anything goes if we’re all on the same page, but what but what is not okay IMO is ghosting or just responding when bored or needing an ego boost or when no one better is around, acting like a friend only to disappear again without and explanation- it does happen a lot and people do feel it is a bit toxic and disrespectful. You start to feel like a commodity and it’s difficult if you’re sensitive and tend to open up to people. I do think this is a thing and I think it’s harsh to blame all the OP’s frustration on him and his unrealistic expectations.
The common themes I hear is that the emphasis on online dating has creating a dating environment that is very transactional and focused on “box checking”. People who “check all the right boxes (rich, successful, over 6” for men; young, thin, childless, for women) and are photogenic predictably reap the majority of the benefits. Moreso than IRL where other factors like charm, personality, actually existing play more of a factor.
Moreso, those who do find success in online dating know this and take advantage of it. So men get resentful than women only want tall rich dudes while women get frustrated that the perfect guy never calls them back.
That frustration leads to disengagement and turning to like-minded communities like the “manosphere” that feed on their sense of entitlement and frustration. Which just makes them more undateable.
NM… didnt see how old the thread was.
We’re not as zombie-sensitive as in Ye Olde Dayes of Yore. Keep the omnibus on the road …
And if anyone should be qualified to bump a thread, it’s you 