Men Choosing to Disengage from Emotional Involvement with Women (... and Bears)

I am reminded by another thread that our OP is not an American. Human nature is the same worldwide, but human nurture and human culture are not.

Perhaps some of our (including my) confidence in our diagnoses and prescriptions is missing something in translation from wherever they are from.

Fwiw, i know several American women who are older, perhaps previously married, some have kids, who are dating to find a companion but not a life partner. They want someone who can share a good meal or a good show or maybe even a good cruise, someone they enjoy sex with. But they don’t want to live with him or make long-term promises.

Some of them have fallen in love and ended to in serious relationships. But it’s not their goal. (And it mostly hasn’t worked out well when it happens.)

I am latterly a convert to the same companion not cohabit program.

Unsure how that’ll work, especially if I’m wanting e.g. 4 days a week min and they want 2 per week max. Or vice versa. Mutual exclusivity would seem incompatible w that. Somebody’s parameters won’t be fully fulfilled as a matter of logic.

I kind of want this too, as a man.

I think the long term durability of these relationships is lower than cohabitating situations. Though I don’t know that those statistics would match up for people that are older.

Obviously it’s up to the individual person whether or not they want a relationship, but I kind of understand what people (I don’t think so it’s a men or women thing) are getting at when they say modern dating is tough. I mean, one night stands are fine, casual flings are fine, anything goes if we’re all on the same page, but what but what is not okay IMO is ghosting or just responding when bored or needing an ego boost or when no one better is around, acting like a friend only to disappear again without and explanation- it does happen a lot and people do feel it is a bit toxic and disrespectful. You start to feel like a commodity and it’s difficult if you’re sensitive and tend to open up to people. I do think this is a thing and I think it’s harsh to blame all the OP’s frustration on him and his unrealistic expectations.