What exactly are the permissible sources of employment for your dates? You’ve already stated that ambitious career women are out.
Has anyone suggested inflatable dolls?
Hey, Shagnasty, a serious question here. Have you investigated through professionals whether there might be any medical or psychological issues causing your lack of interest in women of your age? It wouldn’t hurt to cover all bases when trying to work out why you feel the way you feel.
There are no issues. I am just expressing a rather common preference that I never realized would be a problem until the last couple of years. Would you ask the same thing if someone said they were gay or only wanted to date confident black women?
My type is out there because I know some of them. Unfortunately, they are either married or, in one case, a 1st cousin that I am very close to. She doesn’t even have any friends like her. I just have to find the right one or two. There is no rule that you have to be romantically attracted to everyone. That would cause more problems than it solves even though you could certainly get a lot of dates.
What some people are misinterpreting is that I was trying to find women in my age group attractive but it just isn’t working although it might for the right one. I am not desperate for anyone. It is just a nice to have but only for a really good one. I didn’t even think about what I was missing until my 32 Manhattan girl invited me out. It is basically the same as Natalie Portman just calling you out of the blue one day (she loves to travel private jet style and just invites local people to do things with her). My heart skipped a beat for the first time in a long time. It sounds unbelievable but strange things happen. We are friends now and will probably meet up at some point but I won’t even hit on her because she is too good for me and very sweet. If I could drop her down to a 7 or 8 in all ways, that is the range that I am looking for.
I’m glad that you have been able to move forward in life despite suffering a devastating loss, CoffinMan.
As a man in his forties, I have been following this thread with mild interest. I don’t really have anything to contribute, but I’d just like to say, for the record, that comparing a superficial physical preference with being gay is kind of offensive.
Sometimes stress, depression, physical illness such as thyroid/hormone problems can lead to a loss of libido, such that only the hottest still turns one one. If you’ve looked into these possible issues and determined that there are no such issues, that’s very good. I don’t see how orientation or race comes into investigating such possible causes.
I believe it. My grandparents are twenty years apart. It was a bit weird that she’s my Mom’s age – for my Mom – when they started dating, but my grandma has always been grandma to me. I don’t think she’s even 50 yet and I’m 34, but she’s always had an old-lady vibe, that’s just her personality. Point is, I don’t really bat an eye about age differences between partners. It’s people seeking only younger or older partners that seem strange to me. I think that’s because I view age as kind of arbitrary.
Agreed. I am completely open-minded when it comes to relationships, you limit yourself soooo much by these superficial, arbitrary age boundaries. In my current relationship, I am 10 years older than her. However, in my previous relationship I was 5 years younger than her.
(general “you”)
I’m roughly 16 yeas older than the guy I’ve been seeing happily, non-exclusively, for 2 years now. When you’ve both hit certain life milestones and coped w/ them, age isn’t nearly as important; when reproduction it out of the equation entirely it’s even less significant.
I don’t understand how because no offense was intended even though that seems to be a recreational sport these days. When I was in college in New Orleans a group of notable gay businessmen befriended me. I had an actual job catering weddings and bartending at one of the most beautiful places in New Orleans.
I had the highest paying paying college job you could possibly have (up to $300 for four hours even in the early 90’s) but that wasn’t the end of it. I also got free nights out on the town and and never had to pay for anything. I got blatantly hit on all the time and even got slammed into a wall once but I just brushed it off. They were just really successful people that wanted arm candy. I certainly never had to sleep with them even though they asked.
I’ve made peace with this thread, for I have decided, Shagnasty, you are the perfect candidate for an epic romance (I write romance.)
*After an ugly divorce, he swore he’d never love again. He was just looking for a pretty young thing to pass the time.
She thought she’d found another sucker to finance her frenzied, adrenaline-junkie lifestyle. Besides, he reminded her of her father, who left her so long ago…
But on the sun-soaked beaches of Nice, both found more than they bargained for. *
(Don’t worry, my books aren’t this bad.)
Signed,
A Hopeless Romantic
Not too bad there Spice. I am a romantic myself and would do anything for it. There is just a dearth of good candidates my age even though I am trying to give them every possible opportunity.
What attracts me to women my own age? (I am in my 50s.)
Frame of reference. A woman my own age lived through the disco era, and we can both laugh at it and enjoy it now. She won’t look at me like I’m an alien when I bring up “Three’s Company” and “Lou Grant” and “WKRP in Cincinnati.”
Above all, it’s someone who likes me for me. I’m nobody’s prize; I’m not rich, I’m wrinkled, I’m set in my ways (“Don’t text me dammit, call me on the telephone!”), and I present myself as such, warts and all. Not the kind of thing today’s 20-year-old girls are looking for. But for those 50-year-old girls–let’s dance to KC and the Sunshine Band, let’s slow-dance to Captain and Tennille’s “Muskrat Love,” and let’s laugh about 1970s disaster movies.
Young women today don’t get my experience. Fifty-plus women do. That’s why I’m attracted to women who are 50±-my age. And if you like me for me–we should talk. 
Thanks Muffin - it is still a daily struggle to keep the darkness from taking over. Fellow widower Patton Oswalt very eloquently stated that widowers like him lost someone that made their world better so it would be disrespectful to the memory of our spouses to do anything else but live as well as we can without them.
Appreciate your kind thoughts.
Agreed - it seems such a specific requirement and I believe one that can easily cause a kind of tunnel vision that would prevent someone seeking another from clearly seeing the wider options available.
I think you have no idea how the last sentence just drips with condescension.
I suspect you don’t mean it that way, but this is some of the reason you don’t seem to understand the pushback you are getting in this thread.
Yep. What I get from just about every one of Shagnasty’s posts in this thread (and others) is that he just doesn’t like women much.
Again, nothing you can say could be more inaccurate. People are throwing out terms like misogynist and MRA because that is the lazy and trendy thing to say but it has no basis in reality. I am not a big fan of marriage but I love women and girls in general. I just have requirements when it comes to romantic interests. Looks are a part of it but it also includes a certain life attitude, disposition and values. In fact, every woman that I know that has the attitude that I find attractive is very pretty because they take care of themselves. Poor appearance is a marker that someone has given up on life and I have been guilty of that at times too.
What you don’t seem to get is that you don’t *come across *here as liking women. And you may well do the same thing IRL.
Why do you think the women you’re attracted to aren’t attracted to you?
That’s all very nice, and yet lots of us are telling you that that’s not how you sound.
Agree, disagree, but maybe there’s something to it? Are we all just such lazy, poor readers?