Many of them are but we can’t be together for various reasons. Others think I am an arrogant prick. I admit that my personality can be a bit polarizing and I am very judgmental (internally) but the people that like me tend to really like me. That is all I care about.
I can get as many dates as I want (3 offers today so far) but I usually don’t want them. I am in a perfect position to be really picky. Like I said, all it takes is one or two really good ones but they are light on the ground when you are in your 40’s. If I just wanted to see boobs, I would head down to Providence, RI with my Nigerian friend that is a strip club wizard but that isn’t what I am really looking for.
Did you ever see Coming to America with Eddie Murphy? That is him. Women in general hug him wherever he goes even at work. He loves the ladies and always attracts extra attention and even free services. 6’3" Nigerian men that are always in the best mood you have ever seen are pretty hard not to notice. I can’t do that on my own but I can feed off of his charm and help make the experience more than the sum of its parts.
Based on what I’ve read in this thread, I find your lack of understanding unsurprising. Why is it offensive? Because you equated being gay (something that you’re born with) with being attracted to younger women, or a preference for confident black women (things that you’re not born with, but are rather preferences that one develops over time), which is basically just another way of saying that being gay is a choice. Which I find offensive.
I know I am a (kind) asshole in many ways but I have been that way my entire life and I can’t really change my personality or fundamental thought process. I have never been a people pleaser and it isn’t a personal priority but some people really like or even love me. That is all it takes.
I wish I had charm like my father who would make Bill Clinton blush with his womanizing but I don’t. What I have to work with is intelligence, responsibility and loyalty. I am also a thrill seeker that values looks. Don’t get me wrong, I have gotten plenty of good dates and some of them matched all my preferences. I had a great time with an ex college cheerleader but she had to move shortly thereafter because of a new job.
It will happen again. I just have to keep at it. The idea isn’t to please everyone. I already have to do that for work and family. It is just to find a match with one person at a time and will do the best I can when I find it.
My graduate school focus was on sexual differentiation. That is what I studied for years. I understand that being gay isn’t a choice perfectly well because I have personally done the experiments on it in animal models. However, I am not sure my preferences are a choice either. It would be a lot easier if I found women in their 40’s attractive but I don’t in general for some reason with some exceptions.
You are going to continue to be recreationally offended at lots of things if you keep assuming things about people that aren’t true. That is going to take a lot of mental energy that could be used for better purposes.
Addressing the OP, " How do you stay attracted to women your own age?" I think the secret is becoming attracted to the person and not just the physical appearance. If you jump in the sack without some kind of bond already existing you will see an older possibly out of shape body. If you truly like that person it just doesn’t matter all that much. I tend to relate sexually to older woman because my best sexual experiences have been with older women and I have become wired that way. If you are not wired that way and not having good luck with younger chicks you might just experiment around with some older women and see if your wiring doesn’t change. Great sex can have an impact on attraction and older woman can certainly give good sex.
Being gay is a more profound difference, with more implications outside one’s sex life (which perhaps it shouldn’t have but still does to some degree). But as to it coming about in a categorically different way than a heterosexual’s (or gay person’s for that matter) particular tastes in a romantic partner I don’t see how that’s firmly proved.
Who can prove that a greater relative emphasis on youth or physical beauty in attraction isn’t also in a person’s nature? Various sexual preferences between and within homo/hetero-sexuality could be determined neither by a person’s conscious decisions nor literally 100% fixed at time zero out of the womb. Insisting it’s 100% at time zero for homosexuality, male and female, all cases, is a political position not a scientific fact.
But people can be ‘offended’ at whatever they want.
Man, I misunderstood the strip club wizard thing and assumed at first the Nigerian owned a number of venues (upon more careful reading sounds like he’d be there as a patron, like you), so I was thinking to myself, “Wouldn’t getting occasional free service be incredibly inappropriate?”
I don’t have a history of bad dates. I make sure that all of them are high quality even if it doesn’t work out. I pick things that I want to do anyway and treat women to them. It is just one night and there is no loss if we have a good time. Some of them GASP even want second, third and fourth dates.
I know you don’t like me but the reverse isn’t true. I like most people and treat them very well. I just have very specific standards when it come to romantic partners and they are as about as plain as it gets.
The problem is that you run into a Venn diagram issue. Every requirement you add cuts out an additional portion of the population. I want reasonably pretty, smart and little baggage. Also, my daughters are the most important thing to me so the best that anyone can do is come in 3rd place. Both my ex-wife and my 1st cousin are running into the same types of issues. They both make hundreds of thousands dollars a year and are very attractive but few people want to date them because they outclass just about everyone and women generally don’t date down.
That isn’t to say it isn’t out there. I am sure that it is. It would just be a whole lot easier if I was a generic person with lower standards but that isn’t me.
You’re happy with who you are attracted to. You feel your inability to see older women as desirable is probably as innate as sexual orientation. You’re a super awesome guys who loves women.
Look at the forum. There is no universal point. I am mainly replying to other people’s questions and responses and giving my opinions and preferences. It isn’t something that you can easily bring up in real life so I asked it here. That is what this board is for. What is the problem?
Of course not but I do pick the venues. Let’s say I took a date to a Patriots game that I wanted to attend anyway and she wasn’t a good date. Hey, I still got to see a Patriots game. That is the way I arrange them and it is always free for them.