I was just reading about women from Rhode Island:
But based on your posts in this thread, this seems to be the only level you’re operating at (I accept that your words and behavior IRL may not match how you portray yourself here, but this is all we have to go by).
If all you’re looking for is a physical relationship or arm candy then sure, treating your dating process like some live-action Hot-or-Not website is a reasonable approach. If you’re actually looking for something more emotionally fulfilling, then your approach, which based on your descriptions here appears to describe women in terms of how well they accessorize you, is unlikely to be successful. Yes, you say you treat them respectfully, but I’ve yet to see any sign that you actually respect them beyond their appearance and punctuality. And describing them in terms of “economy” vs “first class” doesn’t really help either (and if you’re using 50 Shades of Grey as a model for dating etiquette, God help us all).
Obviously if it works for you, then fine; you certainly don’t need my approval. But then again, from what I’ve read here I’m not sure it is working for you, and the fact that you feel the need to tell us all about it makes me wonder whether you do need our approval for some reason.
Sounds like exactly what the “mediocre” woman was probably thinking when she noped out there.
I am quite familiar with those. Las Vegas is famous for its strippers but Rhode Island has more liberal stripping/prostitution laws than just about anywhere else in the U.S. Some of them are really attractive too and only do it as a sideline. I always liked talking to them more than the actual private shows but I did get in deeper than I planned to once when someone else paid a lot of money for something I wasn’t expecting. I had to stop it before it went too far because prostitution isn’t my thing. It is a fun way to spend an evening though.
Like a blumpkin?
Oh that poor, poor girl. :rolleyes:
And he still can’t imagine why people here are accusing him of being hateful towards women? Dear god.
Shagnasty - “You’re only mad b/c you don’t get it; it’s not hate if I’m RIGHT, gosh.”
I can imagine being that woman and sensing his judgment and derision; we know when there’s a lack of interest or forced interest and then we have to weigh if continuing the date is worth our effort. In this case it clearly wasn’t.
I’m not about to spend one more minute out w/ someone who clearly feels THEY are the bar that I should try measuring up to.
You may be right for all I know. I have gotten really good at getting quality dates and I have a 100% success rate for every one that I can get on the phone (out of about 75 so far). I have that game down.
What I am not so good at (and this will be shocking to many of you) is that I am not nearly as good in person. My oldest daughter told me last week that I have “Resting Bitch Face Syndrome” and I can be unintentionally condescending even when I am trying not to be. I don’t have natural charm like my father or Bill Clinton (that is probably a good thing) but most people that really know me in person really like me but it takes time. Unfortunately, that is not something that is easy to communicate in a date or 3. Thinking about it too much only makes things worse because I become self-conscious.
I am never intentionally rude to any dates but I may be projecting something some of them are picking up on. Again though, it isn’t a Mr. Congeniality contest. Either it works or it doesn’t and some of them do already. The ones that don’t are doing me a favor when they show up late for no reason or wear flipflops to look at Monet paintings in an art museum. That is a blatant sign that we should probably part ways now before the real trouble starts because that isn’t ever going to work. I am not upset about losing them at all. It just pisses me off when someone wastes days of more of my time for something they can’t deliver.
When you don’t measure up to their standards, are you wasting their days of their time?
Maybe but who cares except outside observers? It is a competitive sport and I root for my home team as do my friends. The caring, sharing and mutual cooperation comes later. I am perfectly capable of that as well but I am not doing it for someone that I just met and is playing the same game that I am. They will get respect, safety, things paid for and other basic dignities but it is all about matching on lots of different levels and I have better success than most already. I tell them in advance exactly what to expect. I even let the latest ones pick the venue (out of a menu) based on advice in this thread and I deliver. Their job is to do the same and some greatly overestimate their worth. There is almost no correlation between quality and expectations.
I have been out with women like a former college cheerleader that is gorgeous and smart. She had to move for work so I went out with someone else a few weeks later whose photos were about 8 years and 50 pounds out of date and she wasn’t that bright. Guess which one was more demanding.
Every time you post this kind of thing I’m struck by your complete lack of empathy for women; at your age I think it’s unlikely to change and it’s pretty sad to realize what that bodes for your future.
The thing you and others aren’t getting is that I love women in general. I just have issues with some dates and even those are fairly rare. It is a completely different role. They all can’t be marriage material or even prospective girlfriends. I don’t belong to any fringe Mormon sect so I have to be choosy.
You have to separate them out really quickly or you are just wasting your time and that applies in the reverse as well. I am sure that most of them are great daughters, parents and everything else but that isn’t what we are looking at here. Once you cut out one of them or vice-versa, ten more will show up in line the next day. It is like romantic and sexual Whack-A-Mole. I don’t even respond to the vast majority of women that contact me because I don’t think it will work. It is the ones that I put in the effort for and they don’t deliver as promised that I get disappointed with. There is no shame in not being a match but you do have to have some grace.
You’re fucking with us, right? I mean c’mon…haha, it’s funny in a disturbing way. But you can’t really mean all this stuff.
Right?
Cuz, I mean if these are the things you actually think, then I wish you the worst of luck.
Which seems like it would be redundant.
Every time I picture this dude, I see the guy from “American Psycho”…am I the only one?
‘Who cares’ and ‘I love women in general’ from the same mouth is disturbing?
Yeah, it is disturbing.
I promise you I am not fucking with you but I am also not an American Psycho. I just had a conversation with 4 male coworkers today that are playing the same game and I am not even the most extreme one. I am just describing how some men truly think as a PSA.
I am not involved in the Pickup Artist Movement or anything like that. I am a single father of two daughters that I love more than anything I can imagine, a Momma’s boy and my best friend for years was a beautiful woman that I connected with a little too well. I use the latter as the Gold Standard.
We couldn’t be together permanently because it was causing problems with her marriage and job but, if I could find someone like her again, it would be an instant and deep connection. Nobody has lived up to that so far. My requirements are fairly simple. My family, especially my daughters come first, but I will do the best job I can possibly do when we agree to a date. It doesn’t really matter if it works out long term because the point is to be in the moment and have a good time. It is amazing how many people don’t understand that. I don’t do interview dates. The dates themselves are the point and I expect women to try at least a little. There is no promise of anything other than that night but there may be if it works out well. Sometimes it does and other times it doesn’t. There is no harm in that. It is not a charity on either side.
Not any more, they banned it again after a few years (which is why it makes a nice natural experiemcnt into the effects of legalizing it).
You sound kind of like the racists who deny their racism because they have black friends. Look dude, if person after person is telling you that what you post makes it seem like you lack respect for and have terrible relationships with women (not family members who happen to be female but women as a whole), there’s probably at least a grain of truth to what’s being said. You seem stuck on the early-20s bar-hopping mentality. Which strikes me as very lonely.
I’m going to be blunt: I find this really disturbing, and I hope you’re joking here. At least if you think we find you charming.
I don’t think that is true. It is true that I am an early 40 something divorced man but I never did barhopping even when I was in my 20’s. I am perfectly fine being mostly single for the rest of my life because I don’t believe in marriage but I still find many women attractive. I am not a priest and would like to have shorter-term relationships and maybe even a long-term one if the conditions are right.
Don’t get me wrong, I have I had really good luck on the singles scene but it can be a hassle. I have a spectacular date coming up this weekend that meets all of my expectations so far. She is gorgeous and the mother of two young kids (I consider that a plus because I am a single father too).
I think part of my block is that my ex-wife is very attractive and financially successful as well and I can’t accept a downgrade so I have to match or top her and that is only a small percent of the population. There is no way I am going out with an unattractive women when I could just go to a Rhode Island strip club or watch porn on TV. I already have plenty of close female friends that mean the world to me. A romantic partner needs to be hotter than them and more willing and giving. I know it is possible because I have already gotten many of them. I just need one that has grace, little baggage and knows when to stay away.
Referring to women who might not be as physically attractive and well paid as this superficial standard you idealize as “downgrades” is evidence right there. They’re fucking people man, not TVs. Having such shallow requirements shows you place no or little value in their personalities, character, sense of humor, etc. Oh sure, you like these aspects in theory, but irl you dismiss all of them in a date unless they met these superficial standards first.